Laura is known as a leader in the mental health community. With her passion, wisdom, and integrity, she is showing colleagues ways to level up their practices. Yet her own practice had to take a pause when she found herself struggling with significant anxiety and OCD behaviors postpartum. “I anticipated that postpartum would be awful, and I was right,” she shared. Laura was struggling with sleep, and wouldn’t get the sleep she needed after nursing her daughter at night. “I went into my support group and asked them if they were sleeping and they all said they slept like logs. That’s when I knew something was wrong.” She described insomnia that would keep her awake and when she’d finally feel tired, it was time for her daughter to nurse again. “My husband would leave the house for work and I’d cry, knowing I was left home alone with my baby, I was so tired.”
Laura noticed that her insomnia contributed to her anxiety as she worried about the insomnia itself and not getting enough sleep each night. Then she noticed some OCD behaviors showing up in her life. “I think I was looking to feel in control of something,” she reflected. Laura found herself using an app to track all of her infant daughter’s activities, which isn’t uncommon. What felt disruptive was that she was methodical about logging every activity and exact times for all the activities, which she recalls felt obsessive and made her anxiety worse. “I focused on every minute and every activity. I was in the app all the time. “ She didn’t know how much of a hold it had on her until someone said to delete it. “It was when my daughter was 18 months old that a friend suggested I delete the app in not needing it anymore, and after some hesitation I did.”
Although Laura was able to break away from the app and the behaviors associated with it in her postpartum recovery, she shared that it took her longer to recover from the sleep deficit of motherhood and insomnia. “It was probably a solid four years before my sleep was back on track.” The thing that helped her most was getting trained in CBTI, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia, which she used on herself as well as with her clients.
Laura is honest with herself that her postpartum journey was challenging and that her experience isn’t everyone’s experience in becoming new parents. She does have some advice for therapists who are planning for maternity or paternity leave, however. “Save for your leave.” Laura identified that she was fortunate to have saved enough for several months of maternity leave, which allowed her to be more honest with herself on her timeline of coming back to work. “If I’d come back at 12 weeks, I wouldn’t have been a very good therapist. I was a shell of a person.” Through her saving and thanks to a supportive spouse, Laura was able to extend her maternity leave to allow herself more time to adjust, before slowly easing back into private practice two days a week to start. “Set aside money for your leave, you don’t know what your postpartum will look like.”
Things happen to us as humans, even as we support our clients as professional helpers. Do you have a story you want to share the mental health community? Email us at croswaitecounselingpllc@gmail.com to learn more about the Human in the Helper Series!