Twelve Financial Therapy-Informed Books to Read on Your Money Healing Journey

Money is emotional, intimidating, stressful, and overwhelming for many, so where do we start? With thousands of books on how to “do” money, I get asked all the time for the list of books I’d recommend to clients and students in financial therapy. This group of books below* captures "financial therapy-informed" or aligned reads that support financial literacy, empowerment, and healing without the shame!

1. The Art of Money by Bari Tessler

The OG on financial therapy, this book is the softer, more approachable beginning to healing our relationship with money. I recommend reading just chapter one to most of my clients to get things flowing on how they feel about money in the present.

2. The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist

Values-aligned spending and saving is a cornerstone of financial therapy where we aim for balance, not deprivation.

3. Feel Good Finance by Aja Evans

From a respected colleague, this book provides insight into why we struggle with money including the lens of intergenerational trauma on our current money behaviors.

4. Financial Feminist by Tori Dunlap

A girl-power financial literacy book that demystifies money for women.

5. Rich Girl Nation by Katie Gatti Tassin

An updated version of financial literacy and wealth-building strategy for the youngest generation of women.

6. Everything but Money by Jessica Moorehouse

Explores the emotions of money and provides some financial literacy.

7. Money for Couples by Ramit Sethi

I love all the concrete tools and scripts for couples to try on when attempting to have healthy or neutral conversations about money!

8. Your Enneagram and Money by Khara Croswaite Brindle and Hannah DeGroot My bias as one of the co-authors, but applying the Enneagram framework to our behaviors with money supports empathy and insight. Not to mention the 23 tools found inside to help you work on your money relationship.

9. Happy Money by Ken Honda

I value the idea of money having energy to it. Is what you are receiving with money positive, negative, or neutral energy? How can you shift it if need be?

10. Conversations with Your Financial Therapist by Erika Wasserman

Another respected colleague, the stories woven throughout really highlight the value of regular conversations on money, including moments of significant milestones and pivots in life.

On my to-read list from valued colleagues:

11. Calm Money by Alex Melkumian

12. Overcoming Financial Trauma by Rahkim Sabree

I can’t wait to dive into even more books that are financial therapy-informed and/or aligned! What would you add to this list?

*not an exhaustive list, I’m sure I’ll keep adding to it!

Thirteen Thoughts For the Next Generation of Financial Therapists

As a financial therapy supervisor, I have the honor of getting to know some of the leaders in the financial therapy field, as well as the up-and-coming folks who are carrying the torch to make financial therapy more accessible for various populations around the world. In every monthly group supervision meeting, we start with a check-in question. In April, I posed “what would you tell the next generation of financial therapists?” Here is what these wonderful financial therapist professionals had to share:

1. Do your own work - I couldn’t agree more! How can we ask clients to do emotional heavy lifts with money if we haven’t looked at our own edges too?

2. Find community - where do you find community? Is it through FTA, the upcoming conference, financial therapy supervision, networking events, coffee chats, or something else?

3. Specialize or niche down - Even though the field is still relatively small, it’s helpful to niche down to make it easier for your ideal client to find you, not to mention having colleagues happily refer to you because they know exactly who you serve!

4. Don’t rely on this full-time -This piece of advice doesn’t surprise me because of the variability of financial therapy clients. Unlike mental health clients, financial therapy clients typically are with us for a shorter time span due to factors like out-of-pocket cost, budgeting, and accessibility. Having other income streams sounds like a solid idea to account for busy and slow seasons as a financial therapist.

5. Be comfortable with not having a clear structure - As someone who is happy to speak to peers about financial therapy, this feels like sound advice. The financial therapy community has only been around since 2008, and oftentimes, collectively, we feel like we are building the plane as it’s flying.

6. Know your role/lane -understanding your scope or role is important, especially as we have financial therapists coming from two different home disciplines of mental health and financial planning. Knowing your bumpers and building a solid referral network can help clients connect with the right professionals should they need something you cannot provide within your role with them.

7. Find a mentor - I personally love this one! Did you know you can connect with many financial therapists at the annual conference or through the FTA’s directory to see about fit?

8. Be comfortable with taking your own path to get here - Another solid validation that there is no one way to become a financial therapist. It’s why Ed Coambs and I had the pleasure of interviewing 20 financial therapist leaders in our book Becoming a Financial Therapist to help our community see the variety to how they arrived in this space.

9. Be comfortable with no one knows what they are doing - Similar to #5, a common discomfort is not having a clearly defined framework. Is it permission to take your place at the table? Absolutely! For creatives and trailblazers, this can also serve as an invitation to help shape the field!

10. Keep your day job - similar to #4 above, there are very few financial therapists who do financial therapy full time. So having other income streams or employment could be necessary for financial peace of mind.

11. Excavate your bias -aligned with #1, staying curious about your own biases is critical to helping clients of diverse backgrounds. What work can you engage in to uncover your biases and explore them further?

12. Never judge - the financial therapist who shared this advice went on to explain that judgement in the space of financial therapy and people’s choices or behaviors with money can actually cause more harm. Embrace curiosity rather than judgement to better understand why clients “do what they do” with their money.

13. Be compassionate - I imagine this recommendation applies both to self as a financial therapist as well as the clients you serve. Money remains emotional for many, so compassion is welcome when doing this hard and meaningful work.

What advice did you need to hear most from the list above as you consider your own path within the financial therapy space? What advice would you share from your lived experience? Come say hi at the upcoming conference in Austin, I’d love to hear your story!

Five Books that have Shaped my Mental Health Leadership Identity

Books give us the gift of language to our own experiences, which serves to support our self-of-therapist development. I truly believe we are never done growing and we are ever-evolving, so it was meaningful to reflect on the books I most identify with as a professor, supervisor, and consultant to therapists and counseling students. As a passionate mental health leader, here are books that have had a profound impact on how I show up with the therapists (and clients) I serve.

Trauma Stewardship by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky (2009). An oldie but a goodie, this book was one I discovered only after I was in professional burnout for two years. I remember wishing someone had introduced this book to me in graduate school. Written compassionately, I felt so seen and hopeful that burnout recovery was possible.

Moving from ALERT to Acceptance: Helping Clinicians Heal from Client Suicide (2024). My own book, this was the hardest one to write out of the 11 (soon to be 12!!) published books out in the world. It was the book I needed in 2021 when my client died by suicide. I continue to lean into the abundant compassion and zero judgement woven throughout the content and although it’s life altering to be a clinician survivor, this work has helped me serve and build communities for other clinician survivors, which has brought another rich layer of meaning and purpose to the work I do.

For the Love of Therapy by Nicole Arzt and Jeremy Arzt (2024). This book celebrates authenticity in the therapeutic relationship which is a cornerstone of what I teach students in their clinical mental health education. A heartfelt, fast read, I love how the authors speak to the inevitability of rupture and the beauty of repair—the very thing students are most afraid of when they start working with their clients. 

The Art of Money by Bari Tessler (2016). Engaging this book in my own money healing prior to becoming a Certified Financial Therapist was crucial prior to engaging other clinicians in the same emotional and vulnerable process. I love how Bari invites folks to slow down and notice what’s going on with their body when it comes to money, and I happily recommend this book to therapists coming into financial therapy work with me as a starting place of curiosity around the money beliefs and behaviors we each hold.

The Resilient Therapist by Ashley Charbonneau and Khara Croswaite Brindle (coming Fall 2026!). Another book I was seeking personally and professionally after several significant career traumas over the last sixteen years, this book is meant to support the healing process for clinicians to find resilience after career-altering events within our field. It is an invitation to feel seen in experiences of client violence, client sudden death, client suicide, professional betrayal, grievance, and subpoena (what we call Adverse Psychological Events) and feel validated for what you carry, alongside discovering the strength to continue forward.

What books have had a significant impact on how you show up in this field? I’d love to know!

Four Grief Books Every Therapist Should Read

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Grief shows up in therapy in so many ways. It could be the loss of a person, the loss of a pet, the loss of a job, the loss of a connection or relationship. And yet not every counseling program requires we take grief coursework to best prepare us to sit with grief in the therapy room. In the month of March, which happens to be the death anniversary month of my client’s suicide five years ago, I took a deep dive into grief books to better “be with” grief. After all, so many of us were raised in grief-avoidant cultures which can lead to those same expectations being projected onto our clients in their own grief journeys.

For example, how many of our clients have been told things like:

“Isn’t it time to move on?”

“You should be grateful to have had them at all.”

“They are with God now.”

“There is a purpose to this loss.”

“God didn’t give you anything you can’t handle.”

“Your grief is hurting your other family members.”

“Shouldn’t you focus on the people who are still alive?”

The list goes on and on. So much of the above ‘feedback’ from loved ones, community members, and spiritual helpers bypasses the sitting in grief stages, which prevents folks from fully engaging in their healing work. I would know because I too have struggled to sit in grief for myself and with my clients. I have wanted to move to the “fix-its” and cognitive reframes too quickly because grief is so painful. And yet there is meaning in slowing things down and witnessing someone’s pain (or our own). Here are four books that echo the importance of “doing” grief rather than avoiding it:

Bearing the Unbearable by Dr. Joanne Cacciatore. This book has had a profound impact on me already. It was heartfelt, reflective, and normalized how as a society we move through grief too quickly out of avoidance of pain. With a focus on traumatic death and thus traumatic grief, I believe every therapist should read this book, as soon as possible!

Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death & Dying Teach Us about the Mysteries of Life and Living by  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler. An interesting exploration of life wisdoms that the dying teach the living, this is a short read that covers messages and insight from those on their death beds.

Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler. Meaning making is such a part of the work I do with therapists after they experience a career trauma such as client sudden death or client suicide, so of course I was curious to see what this one was all about. Kessler does a great job of normalizing that anger and acceptance stages have to be experienced first and that meaning making doesn’t come on a particular timeline, nor can it be rushed.

Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief Workbook by Dvid Kessler. Released five years after his book of the same title above, Kessler introduces powerful tools and exercises for those in grief to engage in processing and transformation. I appreciated how he normalized loved ones resistance to healing out of worry of dishonoring the person they lost, which echoes the therapist healing work I do. Honoring the ones we’ve lost while also finding meaning is the coveted combination for many of us who’ve been touched by loss and then grief.

Therapists are human too. What other books have helped you through your own grief? Although this isn’t light reading before bedtime, I know there is more to explore in my own personal and professional journey to sit alongside grief rather than give into the urge to run from it.

Five Books for Women Leveling Up their Leadership

I’m one of those folks who reads every night before bed, and lately I’ve been consuming various books written for women leaders. Not just leadership books in general, of which there are plenty, but books written by women, for women. I’m grateful to have absorbed pieces of each of them into my own life, and have brought those same insights back to my consultation practice supporting fellow therapists. So why not share them here with you too?!

1. Radical Candor by Kim Scott. An emphasis on being an authentic leader without ruinous empathy (being nice to keep the peace) is definitely a message that resonates with a lot of women leaders trying to find balance between clear communication and boundaries! I’m a huge fan of quadrants so to explore four types of leadership in this way worked for my brain.

2. The Plan by Kendra Adachi. Her naming the stat that 93% of time management books are written by men is now stuck in my head forever. And she’s one of the first to talk about women’s cycles as it relates to energy, productivity, and the ebbs and flows of motivation. Although I don’t struggle with time management myself, I appreciated the view of seasons and the flow energetically between seasons when thinking of when to build projects, launch projects, or rest!

3. Playing Big by Tara Mohr. I loved the exploration of the inner critic versus the inner mentor. What wisdom can your Self twenty years from now give you? I even put my own spin on this exercise when facilitating a visualization amidst women mental health leaders last month in Sedona, Arizona!

4. How to Love Your Business by Nicole Lewis-Keeber. A respected colleague of mine and leadership facilitator, I love the ah-has about our relational patterns from childhood being recreated then placed on our businesses. This concept feels like a mic drop when exploring perfectionism, workaholism, and over-functioning for many women. A fast read, check out the reflection prompts of how you feel about your business and what you believe your business feels about you!

4. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. Although at first glance this doesn’t feel like a leadership book, the emphasis of embracing inspiration and creativity resonates with a lot of entrepreneurial spirits and leaders, myself included. I loved how Liz personifies inspiration as a guest that we want to welcome into our space, while also recognizing that it may exit and find someone else to partner with on a new book or creative endeavor. In other words, it serves as a message for us control freaks to hear it’s out of our hands but we can be open to receive! As a writer and published author now for eight years, this book feels like permission to stay curious about future projects and interests that come across the radar, and to lean into creativity without chasing it.

Have you read any of these books? What did you like about them? How have they impacted your work as a therapist or as a leader? 

What should I read next?!

Engage in an Enneagram Typing Interview

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Why the Enneagram?

I believe everyone should know about the Enneagram. It’s a tool of self-discovery, self-reflection, and growth. It gives language to our core motivations, the beliefs deep down that drive our behaviors. Why wouldn’t we want to better understand that part of ourselves?

The Enneagram is for you if:

-You want to keep growing and evolving personally and professionally

-You are seeking clarity on your strengths

-You are seeking insight into your challenges or growth edges

-You want a tool for connecting authentically with yourself and others

There are tons of tests and quizzes out there to help you discover your Type, however they are only approximately 66% effective. What if you are in fact a Countertype, meaning you don’t show up like other folks in your type structure? That’s where a Typing Interview can help!

What’s an Enneagram Typing Interview?

A typing interview is a 60 minute meeting with a trained Enneagram professional where you are invited to reflect on a series of questions to help you narrow down your possible Enneagram type. Although the Nine Types are most well-known, did you know there are actually 27 types when you take into account instincts and subtypes? That’s a big difference!

What you can expect in a Typing interview with me as a consultant and mental health professional (although this is not therapy and does not replace therapy) is a supportive, safe place with open questions to help you discover your type structure possibilities. You’ll also get resources and reading recommendations on your type, including relevant

-YouTube links

-articles to read

-books to check out

Why work with me? As a trained mental health therapist, Certified Financial Therapist, and Enneagram certified professional, you get the best of three worlds: a safe space to show up, clarity on your money behaviors, and the experience of purposeful questions to support your self-discovery journey. An Enneagram Typing Interview does not replace therapy with a trained professional, and this meeting and content shared are for educational purposes only.

Are you craving clarity or language for why certain things are a struggle? Do you want to embrace your strengths and lean into that next level of growth? Are you ready to explore how the Enneagram can create meaningful change for the better? 

My Enneagram Evolution

I first engaged in an Enneagram training in 2012, where it left a profound impression on me because it gave language to my experience personally and professionally within the world. Then I experienced it again as part of pre-marital counseling with my spouse of almost 10 years (and counting). The Enneagram became a regular tool in my mental health private practice with clients struggling with low self-worth, perfectionism, and workaholism. 

But it didn’t stop there.

In 2019 I began using the Enneagram with colleagues in my consultation role to help them recover from burnout within our field. In 2020, I wrote my first Amazon #1 Best-seller Perfectioneur: Moving from Workaholic to Well-balanced, that called out risks for certain personality types (I’m looking at you Enneagram Type Twos and Threes) to struggle with work-life harmony. In 2022 I leaned into Enneagram conversations with colleagues in peer consultation groups. 

In 2023, I saw an intersection of Enneagram and money behaviors as a Certified Financial Therapist, crafting a blog that would be the origin story of our Amazon #1 Best Seller Your Enneagram and Money, which published in January 2025. In March 2025, I crafted and taught an elective on The Enneagram in Therapy for Master’s counseling students at the University of Denver and presented the same content at the Colorado Counseling Association’s Annual Conference to a standing-room-only crowd in August 2025. The Enneagram fascinates many of us as therapists and helping professionals, and for lots of valid reasons! 

From 2023 to now, I continue to bring in aspects of the Enneagram into healing retreats with therapists. And at the conclusion of 2025, I successfully completed an Enneagram Certification Program with Milton Stewart, MBA of Kaizen Coaching, Consulting & Community and incoming president of the International Enneagram Association.

So in 2026 it’s time for me to give back to my professional helper community in a new way—by providing language and insight into our personality type structures that also informs our conscious work with clients! Schedule an Enneagram Typing Interview with me here.

Insurance Injustice and Rage Tears

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I think it’s the first time I’ve experienced rage tears with a client. I’ve been angry. I’ve been sad. And I’ve cried with clients. Oh yes, I’ve cried. 

My client can’t see me, but they hear the tears in my choked speech on our call. I name the tears for them so they doesn’t misunderstand. I don’t need my client to caregive me, I want to show them how much this upsets me too.

It’s been two months since we’ve had a call. 

Six months of fighting with their insurance.

One year of unpaid claims.

And weekly phone calls of the insurance panel stating claims aren’t being paid because they only pay for one diagnosis. Suddenly. In 2025. No other diagnoses will do.

I can’t make sense of it. As a Type-A, detailed therapist, I jump all the hoops they want me to jump through. 

File a certification request. Fax it.

File an appeal. Fax it.

The appeal was lost in their department. Start over.

An appeal that they will approve when they want to, no timeline is guaranteed.

Thousands of dollars unpaid, a ticking timeline of when claims will be “out of timely filing.”

Of course I have rage. 

I have rage for a broken system. A system that I’ve worked with for 16 years. I proudly took Medicaid until I didn’t. Then I told other insurance panels I was done. And yet with this client, I’d told myself I would see them until the end. Only I thought the end would be the illness that shortens their life. 

So now here I sit, the tears just below the surface as I tell my client their options. Options they can’t afford. And yet they say they don’t want to start over. They don’t want another therapist. Weeks away from our ten year anniversary of working together, I remind them of their hard work up to this point, reflecting on how much they’ve accomplished. How much they’ve grown.

Just in case we can’t work together. 

In case their insurance decides their mental health doesn’t matter.

So I write this to process the rage. And I wait. And they wait. And we wait.

Ten Books Every Therapist Should Read

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As a passionate professor to counselors-in-training, I’m frequently asked by students what books they should read as part of their self-of-therapist development. Of course there are so many options out there on specialty topics, including things like private practice, IFS parts work, EMDR, and attachment theory. But there are a handful of books I think of again and again as a clinical supervisor, confidential grief specialist, and consultant to therapists. Here are ten books I continue to recommend, not to mention they are books I wish I’d had when I started in this field 15 years ago!

1. Sometimes Therapy is Awkward

   Full of authenticity and humor filled moments, this book serves to normalize that being a therapist comes with it’s own unique challenges, like clients ghosting sessions, client suicide, and sticking our professional foot in our mouth on occasion because we are human too.

2. For the Love of Therapy

   By the same author as the above book, this book speaks to the power of relationship rupture and repair in the mental health field. I love the emphasis that we all make mistakes, and it’s how we repair that makes us stellar therapists!

3. Letters to a Young Therapist 

   A book from a seasoned therapist on compassion and humanness in therapy, how can I not recommend a book that celebrates authenticity as the key ingredient to quality mental health care?

4. Bad Therapy

   Can we normalize the edges and mistakes made within our field? I believe this book serves that purpose, and it's been on my reading list for years.

5. Maybe you Should Talk to Someone

   Beautiful storytelling full of heart, this book serves as a glimpse into the day-to-day life and client interactions a clinician can have in private practice. Read by the masses, this book gives an inside look at what it’s like to be a therapist.

6. The Gift of Therapy

   A classic, this one is often recommended in graduate programs. I have to admit I haven’t read it personally, but I’ve heard from many colleagues how impactful it was to their journey of becoming a therapist.

7. Moving from ALERT to Acceptance: Helping Clinicians Heal from Client Suicide

   My own book baby, this resource not only teaches clinicians to engage in compassionate suicide assessment within their therapy practice, it normalizes the prevalence of client suicide and how we heal after it happens.

8. Trauma Stewardship

   An oldie but goodie on how we are at higher risk for vicarious trauma and burnout as professional caregivers, this book should be in every grad school curriculum!

9. Burnout, the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

   A beautiful blend of conversation, curiosity, and science, this book puts language to the cycle of stress and burnout that is a significant part of our self-work for therapists to remain in the mental health field.

10. The Resilient Therapist: Healing from Career-Altering Adverse Psychological Events in Mental Health (Bloomsbury, Spring 2026)

    Coming soon! This book is a love letter to therapists who’ve experienced career-altering traumas like client violence, client suicide, grievance, and professional betrayal. These events are happening to clinicians around the world, so not only do we need to talk about them, we need to explore how to heal and how leadership can help!

    So there you have it, ten impactful books for clinicians both new to the field and seasoned! I hope you’ll reach out to share other favorites and the impact these books have on your practice. Happy Reading!

What Every Therapist Needs to Know About Artificial Intelligence and Logo Design

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If you are thinking about creating a logo with AI or Canva, read this important interview below!

Hi Laura, I really appreciate you taking the time to share your knowledge with entrepreneurial therapists! Let’s start with your background. What do you do, where did you get your education, and how long have you been a graphic designer?

Thanks for having me. I have been working in the commercial design space for over 18 years creating print and digital design solutions for clients across the country. I have a BFA in graphic design and an MA in design, and I tend to call myself a desigNerd; I love what I do and I can’t imagine doing anything else! As the owner and lead designer at my company, Smudge Pot Creative, I work alongside marketing departments and small business owners in order to assist them in establishing and maintaining proper branding through cohesive marketing materials.

That’s fantastic! I know you’ve more recently started helping therapists with book cover designs for their published books! What’s that been like for you?

Working on custom book cover designs for my clients has been a fun and challenging new adventure. I believe that everyone is capable of throwing a headline onto a page, however I strive to really capture the essence of the author and their goal(s) behind the written work within the design options that I present. The process involves multiple meetings, open lines of communication, and a lot of research and concepting on my end. This can take multiple months, but I’m not satisfied until my clients are happy!

Here’s the hard question! Entrepreneurial therapists are using AI in lots of ways within their business, but one that’s brought up questions is using AI or Canvas (as two examples) to create logos. What do therapists need to know?

Tools like AI generators or Canva are great for quick visuals, but logos created using those platforms generally can’t be trademarked and aren’t fully owned by the business using them. In many cases, the platform retains rights, or similar designs can be generated for other users, which can create legal or branding issues down the road.

That makes sense! I truly believe therapists have no idea that this is even a concern. What are their affordable options for a design that remains their intellectual property?

Working with a graphic designer can be outside of a small business owner’s budget, however approaching someone with examples of logos that you do and do not like can potentially cut down the costs associated with the research and concepting phases. I also recommend finding a seasoned designer with a logo and illustration background to assist you with coming up with a truly unique and custom logo. A new or green designer may unknowingly use stock assets or AI tools, and as we touched on earlier, this can cause problems for your business down the road when you attempt to trademark your logo. 

Any last words of advice for therapists wanting quality, branded materials for their websites?

Once your logo and brand is established, using a free tool like Canva is a great way to start making your own collateral materials. With their abundance of templates, Canva offers a user-friendly option for non-designers to create consistent, brand compliant graphics themselves while keeping costs down. 

Your insight is invaluable. Where can people learn more about your business?

Please feel free to check out my website at smudgepotcreative.com.

Laura, thank you again for sharing with us!

Dear Suicide Loss Survivors

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I was recently asked if I wanted to contribute something to a book for survivors of suicide. With my client’s death by suicide anniversary being in March, of course I wanted to share my love letter to survivors here in a blog too. With abundant compassion and zero judgement, Khara

There’s nothing more painful that feeling like you’ve failed the person who has died by suicide. The shame. The self-doubt. The going over the last time you saw them or spoke to them, wondering what you missed. Believe me, I’ve been there. As a fellow loss survivor, I want you to know you are not alone. Each death by suicide impacts at minimum, 135 people, so of course you are feeling the loss of the person who has died. You may feel grief-stricken. Bewildered. Angry. This loss will forever change you, and that’s okay too. It’s to be expected. I hope you’ll consider this acronym as a compassionate guide through your heaviest moments of grief and despair, knowing that even the darkest nights have to move into dawn eventually.

L-Listen to your needs

Your needs after the loss of someone to suicide will change moment to moment. People will ask you what you need, and you may find yourself frozen, in shock, or mute, not knowing what you need. Try to find moments to slow things down, asking yourself what you need in that exact moment. Maybe you need to cry. Need a hug. Need to be left alone. Need to eat. Need to sleep. Let’s normalize that your needs change minute to minute and it’s okay to ask for what you need.

E-Embrace grief and loss work

No one is “fine” after losing someone to suicide. There isn’t a timeline for healing either. You will heal on your own time, in your own way. How do you want to engage in grief work? Do you want to work with a therapist? A coach? A mentor? A spiritual guide? This isn’t something that you wake up one day and feel okay about, so don’t discount the power of grief and loss work to help your healing journey.

A- Ask for help

For so many survivors, asking for help feels the hardest. Perhaps we don’t want to burden others. Perhaps we’ve received messages that hurt us further in the wake of losing someone to suicide. Please don’t let other people’s discomfort with suicide prevent you from asking for help from folks who are able and willing to hold space for you. There are places of support and community waiting with open arms to help you grieve and heal. You don’t have to do this alone.

N- Name meaning

This last idea oftentimes takes the longest. There is not a day when losing the person you did to suicide won’t matter. Survivors aren’t looking for acceptance as much as some form of neutrality or surrender that comes with time. After moving out of excruciating pain and sadness, there will come a time where you can discover meaning from this life-altering loss. Maybe meaning is holding dear the happy memories of this person. Maybe you write about your experience for other survivors. Maybe it’s participating in a suicide prevention event. Perhaps it’s honoring this person’s birthday or another day of significance. 

Making meaning is uniquely yours, and the experience of naming meaning can feel like you’re finally experiencing post-traumatic growth as your body learns to hold both pain and gratitude for the person you’ve lost. Talk about them. Think of them. Americans can be strange with grief, but I hope this sharing and so many others’ stories can lift you up amidst the grief and questioning that come with suicide loss. We are not okay, but we will be.