Thea* is a licensed psychologist who enjoys working with the government. When she’s not engaging military folks and their families, she’s spending time with her husband and children. Although there are several reasons why Thea chooses to work in this setting, one reason is access to care, which stands out in stark contrast to her sibling’s experience. “I was a few months into my new job when my brother attempted suicide,” she shared. Thea had received a call from her dad asking her to do a welfare check on her brother while dad drove over to his apartment. “I live in another state, but because of my job, he asked for my help.”
Thea made the call and shared that the officer arrived to the apartment shortly before her father. “My brother was in bad shape and thankfully got medical care right away because the officer was there.” Thea named that her brother was sent to the ICU and she attempted to go to work the next day. “It was a Friday and I told myself I just needed to get through one day.” Her effort to keep showing up is so relatable to many mental health professionals, who feel like they have to keep going or continue to be strong, even when significant live events happen.
“My boss kindly said go home. I couldn’t keep it together. I couldn’t put a sentence together without crying.” Thea was encouraged to get on a plane and go to her family, which she was able to do later that same day. “My mom and I lived in the ICU for 24 hours.” Interestingly enough, Thea noticed a switch had been flipped inside of her as she connected with her family. “I was trying to show up as a sister, but was being leaned on as a professional.”
Thea helped gather supplies for her brother’s transition to inpatient after he stabilized. She was surprised with how quickly she was able to move from tears to her professional role when helping her family navigate these next steps. Once her brother regained consciousness, Thea returned to her own little family, taking a day to regroup. “I needed a day to recenter, which I spent with my family.”
When asked how her brother’s suicide attempt has impacted her, Thea reflected on how she’s more comfortable holding space for loved ones who are worried about a family member with suicidal thoughts. “I’m very intentional about exploring their options and often hear how they are worried about upsetting their loved one if they take action. I self-disclose, saying I still have my brother because of taking action.” Thea provides resources and holds a lot of compassion for loved ones under this kind of stress. Unfortunately, the system has failed her brother in some ways. “After his inpatient stay, he wasn’t able to continue the medications they prescribed or see an outpatient provider because he had lost his job and didn’t have health insurance.”
Thea named that her brother is doing better, but is still struggling to access resources due to challenges with employment. She checks in more often, and offers her support to him even though they continue to live in different states. Thea also recognizes how her brother’s experience reinforces her gratitude in working within a system that provides access to care when people need it. She encourages colleagues to take suicidal thought seriously in their work, and to remain curious about the impact on the person with suicidal thoughts as well as their loved ones. “I still have a brother, and I would do [a welfare check] again in a heartbeat.” Thea recognizes we are both humans and professionals in mental health, and encourages clinicians to be gentle with themselves in emergencies like these. “Give yourself time and take care of yourself.”
*The interviewed professional’s name has been changed to protect confidentiality.
Things happen to us as humans, even as we support our clients as professional helpers. Do you have a story you want to share the mental health community? Email us at croswaitecounselingpllc@gmail.com to learn more about the Human in the Helper Series!