Control Freak.
Entrepreneur.
Workaholic.
Type A Personality.
Perfectioneur.
A Perfectionist Entrepreneur
Have you ever worked so hard at something that you made yourself sick? Maybe it was that time at the gym where you pushed yourself so hard in a workout that you felt physically ill. Or during dead week in college, that week before finals, where you worked so hard to feel prepared, only to get sick after finals were over. Working so hard to master something, it’s something I know a lot about as a Recovering Perfectioneur.
There are many Perfectioneurs in this world, managing the workforce with the badge of busy-ness.
How’s life? It’s busy!
How are you? So busy!
Responding to an American culture of independence and prosperity, we are a breed of Entrepreneurs driven by desires to create, to make an impact, and to lead change. A group of hustlers that epically fail at self-care and work-life balance. Running themselves into the ground out of a desire to accomplish things that feel important, meaningful, and worthwhile. A group of Millennial and Gen-Z ers who were taught to work hard for what they want, only to find themselves overworked, burnt out, and with higher risks of anxiety and depression.
A phrase that captures this experience: To conquer or die. It’s a family motto I believe to my core, even going so far as to tattoo it on my body! And as a result, I was nearing collapse and total breakdown. That’s when I learned I needed to recover as a Perfectioneur.
That’s me, now what?
So maybe you resonate with this definition of Perfectioneurs. If this is you, there is hope! Let’s look at some ideas outside of the commercialized concepts of self-care that can help you heal and grow for the better.
1. Rest versus Restoration
Self-care from an American standpoint might present like a vacation, massage, or other costly thing that is meant to encourage a person to slow down and take a breather. For many of us, the luxury of spending money on such items can be a struggle. Perhaps it’s not even the financial stress but the struggle to carve out a chunk of time in your full schedule to complete it. Feeling like we don’t have time is half the battle. With this in mind, it’s no wonder planners have come back into popularity, with the purpose of blocking out time for yourself, your friends, and your family.
So now it’s the weekend and you decide to binge watch Netflix and lounge on the couch to rest after a very full week. Do you find yourself feeling rested? What about restored? Rest is the idea of limited or low activity. There is purpose to rest. But for so many of us, rest doesn’t provide us with renewed stamina or energy to keep achieving and progressing. We are still tired. We are still overwhelmed.
Instead, perhaps we embrace the concept of restoration. What are some things that energize you, restore your energy, revitalize you, bring you back to yourself? Interestingly enough, the list of ideas for self-care shift when presented from the lens of restoration! Maybe now you are thinking about being in nature, cooking a delicious meal, or dancing to good music. Rest and restoration have value for Perfectioneurs and Entrepreneurs, it’s important to identify a balance of both.
2. Who’s in your orbit?
As you think deeper about restoration, perhaps there are cherished people in your life that you want to be involved in that experience. Do you feel restored when surrounding yourself with loved ones? Fellow Entrepreneurs? Creative thinkers? Dreamers? Giving yourself permission to explore the relationships that energize you can be insightful into how you spend your time. Recognizing individuals who drain you, ask too much of you, or relationships that just don’t feel reciprocal, can be adding to your risk of burnout when feeling overworked and overscheduled. Give yourself permission to focus on the relationships that boost your energy and creative spirit, they will be the ones you’ll want to schedule and make time for because of how they make you feel.
3. Find your Focus
Balancing your time, your relationships, and your goals can be difficult. And yet, now that you’ve identified the relationships and activities that energize you, you can bring those goals into focus. What if I asked you to write down some goals that are showing up in your mind in this very moment? What items are on your agenda?
What if I told you that you can only focus on 7 goals in the next 6 months? For those of you who are hustling hard, this may feel restrictive, challenging, and create anxiety and resentment. What would you cross off your list, giving yourself permission to focus on only these 7 goals for the next 6 months? It may feel difficult at first, but it’s amazing to find yourself making more significant progress on the 7 goals because you are also saying NO to everything else. We know that multitasking can be done, but at the risk of lower productivity and limited outcomes since your energy is spread too thin. I encourage you to embrace this exercise of identifying 7 top priorities in your goals list and leave the rest to be added when these 7 are accomplished. You might surprise yourself in how you feel, recognizing more energy, focus, and progress as the result of your efforts!
These are just three strategies that I’ve worked on in order to come back to balance, health, and healing. And like anyone else in recovery, it’s a choice every day to do something that’s in your best interest. If you decide to take the leap, recognizing yourself as a workaholic, a Type A person, an Enneagram Type 3, or as a fellow Perfectioneur, I can’t wait to see how these strategies work for you, not only to move closer to your values and feelings of fulfillment but to change the narrative of Entrepreneurs for the next generation trying to make a difference for all.
If you’ve run yourself into the ground, the only direction to go is up!