What to Do When Your Work is Stolen As a Self-Published Author

Photo by Gülfer ERGİN on Unsplash

You’ve published a book and it’s a big deal! After putting your thoughts to paper and finessing the gift you are giving your audience, you are focused on marketing your book and getting it out there. It’s exciting and feels like hard work all at the same time. Amidst the rollercoaster of emotions that come with being a published author, it doesn’t even cross your mind that someone could steal your work and sell it as their own in the self-publishing space. As the author of five self-published books, I sure didn’t, and yet it happened to me!

I found out my work had be plagiarized on 10/14/22. Not once but TWICE. I happened to be looking up my book on Amazon after a colleague reached out to share that they’d submitted a 5-star review. Imagine my surprise when I saw my Amazon #1 Best-Seller Perfectioneur: From Workaholic to Well-Balanced listed (in English, Spanish, and a workbook), followed by two almost identical titles, published to Kindle in July 2022. My first reaction was shock. Was that really my book title under another author’s name? I clicked on the Kindle listing and was even more baffled to see a verbatim list of my book chapters under their book’s description.

Exactly the same.

As I attempted to wrap my head around what was happening, I felt a mix of flattery—wow they thought my content was good enough to steal!—and outrage—do people really think they can get away with this? Luckily, a quick google search showed me how common it is to have your digital work plagiarized in the self-published space. Thankfully, my search also provided me with some guidance on possible solutions. I want to share my experience with you here so that you too can feel prepared if this were to ever happen to you as a self-published author.

Step 1: Gather your materials that show the Intellectual Property (IP) was yours first.

This is basically a paper trail showing your ownership before others decided to steal your material. Examples of things that could work include:

·      links to your book listing in Amazon that reflect the original publishing date

·      an email time stamp on your book manuscript

·      screenshots of marketing or social media posts that advertised your book

·      a blog where you first wrote about your concepts before the book was written

By no means is this an exhaustive list. Not to mention I’m not an IP lawyer. However, my attorney has emphasized over the years that ownership of IP is best proven by written materials that include unalterable dates on them. So start gathering your proof!

Step 2: Gather evidence of the plagiarism

This includes screenshots, links to the book listings, and capturing the ASIN (Amazon Standard Identification Number) or the link of each product you are reporting.

Step 3: Outreach Amazon to file a Copyright Infringement Form

Millions of people have chosen to list their self-published books on Amazon. If this is you, utilize Amazon’s form to file your complaint. They will review the materials you submitted and will most likely ask for additional information to prove you are the original owner of the IP in question.

In my experience, I notified Amazon the Friday I found out and had resolution by Monday morning 72 hours later when they emailed me to confirm they were taking down the listings that had plagiarized my content.

What not to do? Do not outreach the sellers. Why, you might ask?

1)    From my google search, I learned that oftentimes the author listed isn’t even a real person. Instead, folks could be scraping your written material off digital devices to then place it under a fictious author.

2)    If you outreach them, the listed contact can remove the plagiarized content before Amazon can see it, getting away with plagiarism and any of the profits they made from your work. Not to mention they could re-list your book content under a new listing if not flagged by Amazon itself.

So begins your journey to resolution regarding plagiarism. You may have noticed that the first efforts I listed don’t involve taking folks to court. In fact, that could be a costly response to your content being stolen and is considered a last-resort option for many. If you have plans to continue to put out new self-published content, consider having an Intellectual Property lawyer on retainer for legal advice as you go forward. Lastly, do an Amazon search once in awhile to ensure your content isn’t showing up under another listing or author’s name again. It’s definitely not the fun part of being an author, but it may feel necessary to check your online listings regularly, in order to reduce any anxiety you feel about your work being sold as someone else’s book, oftentimes as a cheaper price.

Where do I go from here in my own personal story of plagiarism? I feel like I’ve learned a lot in the last 72 hours. I can only hope my experience can help another author navigate this aggravating event with minimal stress. After all, your work is valued and valuable—it deserves to be out there under your name as the original author within the safety net of a professional self-publishing space.

Participation Trophies and Perfectionism

What if participation trophies have caused more harm than good? The running criticism of the Millennial generation is that participation trophies were awarded to kids to make sure no one was left out and to promote a feeling that everyone wins. Enter eye rolls of the older generations as we explore how participation trophies could be a possible culprit of increased perfectionism in both Millennial and Gen Z generations.

The Millennial generation is defined roughly as individuals born 1980-1996. Stereotyped as the entitled generation that moves from one job to the next, Simon Sinek was willing to name some of the challenges in his viral video on Millennials in the workplace. Dr. Jean Twenge explored additional factors for this generation in her book Generation Me. Thanks to her research, I discovered a detailed picture of how and why perfectionism has elevated since the early 1980s. Additionally, the full experience of Millennial finances and workaholism is captured in Anne Helen Petersen’s book Can’t Even: How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation.

Following the Millennial generation, Gen Z captures folks born roughly 1996-2004 and has been named a generation that is more open to talking about mental health, quality of life, and feelings of isolation. Dr. Twenge dedicates a book to this generation’s challenges called iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy—And What That Means for the Rest of Us. Serving this population in my mental health practice, I continue to see themes of perfectionism, anxiety, and burnout based on high expectations of themselves to perform well and achieve success.

How does this connect back to participation trophies? Please allow me to explain. A client of mine was doing therapeutic work around messaging their received in childhood about their worth being wrapped up in what they do. Their belief was that the more they do, the more value they possess in the eyes of others. They described getting a participation trophy for an event and recognized that it mean nothing to them because everyone else got one too. Not only that, they felt the trophy encouraged imposter syndrome in feeling like a fraud! Therefore my client felt they had to work even harder to earn accolades and positive feedback on their worth as they got older. Enter workaholism, poor boundaries, and absent self-care which landed them in my office.

Does this resonate with you as it does with me? As an Elder Millennial and therapist, I recognize powerful patterns in my own worth as well as my clients work. Is it possible that participation trophies started a spiral of messaging that our worth is wrapped up in what we do? Combined with money earned for good grades, promotions for working overtime, and focusing on our children’s accomplishments when asked how they are, is this not the perfect storm for perfectionism, workaholism, and resulting burnout as adults?

Participation trophies are not the only piece of this puzzle. I am honored to continue this journey of self-discovery with my clients as a Perfectioneur, mental health therapist, and burnout consultant. My client’s disclosure provided another layer of perspective related to rising perfectionism and burnout in these two generations. It’s not the end of our story! Our narratives of self-worth, value, and workaholism are worth exploring and rewriting to remove our badges of busyness and achieve better work-life balance!

What Pilots can Teach Perfectioneurs

Pilots and Perfectioneurs have a lot in common. Pilots can serve as examples of Perfectioneurs. The archetype of pilots is often one of confidence, charisma, attention to detail, and assertiveness, placing them one step away from the steamrolling potential of overworked Perfectioneurs. 

Pilot or Perfectioneur?

·      Maintains attention to detail

·      Works long hours

·      Defines identity by what they do

·      Prefers jobs where they are in control 

Make no mistake, we absolutely want people who are driven and have attention to detail flying various aircraft. It is directly connected to our well-being and safety as passengers. We also want to know that the people selected to hold this responsibility are performing at their best. Fit for duty. Therefore it’s no surprise that Aviation Psychologist Dr. Paul Dicken’s guide for pilots to re-enter the workforce during COVID-19 has been downloaded 65,000+ times since its release! 

Being a licensed therapist married to a pilot, I was excited to interview Dr. Dickens as one of 11 Accredited Aviation Psychologists in the EU. His passion for this work was palpable over Zoom and we found ourselves in easy conversation on the similarities between pilots and perfectionists. It’s not surprising then, to recognize that his suggestions in the areas of physical, cognitive, emotional, and relational needs compliment the work-life balance criteria for many other professionals attempting to adapt during COVID-19.

Some recognizable tips from Dr. Dicken’s guide Cleared for Take Off! A Pilot’s Guide to Returning to Flyinginclude: 

·      Set sleep patterns and sleep hygiene rituals

·      Adopt an exercise regimen

·      Gear up for work mode through reading materials and visualization

·      Practice self-awareness to identify how you feel about returning to work

·      Prepare your family for the transition back to work

Meaningful and relevant, these tips apply to entrepreneurs, first responders, and perfectionists as well. Let’s take it a step further to see how pilots address psychological safety at all stages of flight, captured in the acronym IMSAFE and created by the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA).

Illness- Do I have any symptoms?

Medication- Have I taken any over the counter or prescription drugs?

Stress- Am I under psychological pressure from the job? Am I worried about financial problems, health problems, or family discord?

Alcohol-Have I been drinking within 8 hours?

Fatigue- Am I tired or not adequately rested?

Emotion- Am I emotionally upset?

What if we modified the IMSAFE acronym for people during COVID-19 in order to capture what we are tracking as mental health and wellness needs during this challenging time?

Illness- Do I have any symptoms of illness?

Medication- Do I take prescription or over the counter drugs? Do they pose any risk to my functioning? Are they helpful to my functioning?

Stress- In this time of unknown, what’s my current stress level? Does it fluctuate? When?

Alcohol- Am I drinking out of a desire to cope or fight boredom?

Fatigue- How tired do I feel? Am I getting enough sleep? Too much sleep?

Emotion- Am I aware of how I feel? Where do I fall on the spectrum between anxious and numb?

IMSAFE poses some important questions to ask ourselves as we attempt to adapt and change during COVID-19. Change is difficult, especially for professionals that covet feelings of being in control. Therefore pilots and the FAA have a lot to teach us about the importance of checklists to gauge our functioning since it’s subject to change. Perhaps we can consider checking in on our functioning with the IMSAFE acronym. Maybe the tips from Dr. Dicken’s guide can help individuals preparing to return to work. Either way, pilots have a lot to offer perfectionists including disarming resistance and normalizing the vulnerability of adjustment. It’s possible that these resources will pave the way for additional conversations on coping during COVID-19, allowing perfectionist pilots to be the role models of adaptive functioning and pivoting during a pandemic.

Connect with Dr. Dickens on LinkedIn

Check out Dr. Dicken’s full guide here.

See more tips for pilots with the IMSAFE protocol here.

Efficient is not an Emotion: The Risk to Romantic Relationships

My husband was talking about the joy of driving a vehicle he really likes. The experience of a horse-powered engine that purrs, a smooth ride over asphalt, and a car that can make one feel confident when in the driver’s seat. In an attempt to further involve me in the pleasure of it all, he’d asked me how I felt when driving my car. “Efficient,” I said. I didn’t even have to glance at his face to notice the joy deflating.

“Efficient is not an emotion,” he responded, “you know that.” He’s right. As a therapist, that was not an acceptable answer. What about for the Perfectioneurs and entrepreneurs out there? The ones that value streamlined efficiency, momentum, and driven purpose? To them, an efficient vehicle is satisfying in getting them from Point A to Point B. It permits them the creative energy for other meaningful pursuits. In an entrepreneurial mind, it’s not about sheer pleasure in the drive, it’s about the purpose of the drive.

Efficient: Achieving maximum productivity with minimum wasted effort or expense

Perfectioneurs can’t stand idleness or wasted energy and I recognize I was speaking as a restless, irritable, and annoyed person that day. It happens, we all have moods. I’d crushed the conversation with my matter-of-fact tone and lack of enthusiasm. It wasn’t the nicest response I could have given to my spouse’s bid for engagement. Instead, I could have engaged more thoughtfully and with more heart.

I’ve come to realize that the more I embrace my identity as a Perfectioneur, the more I notice my edges, flaws, and quirks. I don’t always get joy out of the same things my spouse does. I find myself ten steps ahead in the future, plotting, planning, and anticipating victory energy. So finding myself in what I thought was a casual conversation, my reaction was to be efficient, answering to move the conversation in another direction.

It’s one of the risks of being a Perfectioneur, steamrolling over others in an effort to support our own agenda. And it that moment, I needed to check myself to not be hurtful to the person I love. How many people out there are aware that they do this same thing? That we steamroll and control at times? We’ve all been guilty of treating our loved ones poorly at one time or another, a subconscious expectation that they will tolerate our mood swings and poor behaviors because they love us or care for us and so we let them have it. The day’s frustration gets dumped on them. In this case, my spouse walked into a trap he didn’t even realize was there. And it was my responsibility to repair the hurt my clipped response had created.

Efficient is not a coveted characteristic of romantic relationships.  

How’s your spouse doing? Efficiently. How’s the sex? Efficient. 

Wouldn’t we rather celebrate unique characteristics of our relationships? Perfectioneurs must learn to lean in to vulnerability to show up more authentically in each relationship they have. Relationships are an important part of balance and connection, therefore they deserve our attention and efforts to strengthen them. Here are some tips I’ve learned along the way to be a better partner to my spouse.

• Importance of Eye Contact: If we aren’t looking one another in the eye, are we sure that we have each other’s attention? Are we truly listening?

• Routine Check-Ins: Having a routine supports us asking about each other’s day and solidifies plans for the next day. It’s a time where we can be present and make plans together during the busy work week.

• Don’t Fix or Freeze: We were taught by a professional once to ask what the other person needs from the conversation. For example, if we were seeking advice, naming it helped our spouse prepare their response. If we just wanted to vent and have them listen, it was helpful to share this up front so they could stay present in the moment without the urge to fix it.

However you choose to navigate your relationship, just know that efficiency is not the goal. Relationships are messy! If you are lucky, they are playful, passionate, and loving too. So strive to be the healthiest Perfectioneur you can be and show up for your relationships. Celebrate others interests, connect on a deeper level, and invest in solid communication. Relationships are the glue that pave the way for creativity, so elect to sit this one shotgun and let your loved one drive. 

My Wish for You is More Victory Energy!

Like several couples during COVID-19, my spouse and I have attempted to decompress by watching a show or movie at the end of our work days. Winding down, we happened upon Keeping the Faith (2000) with Edward Norton, Ben Stiller, and Jenna Elfman. Recognizing that neither of us had seen this movie before, it was Jenna Elfman’s character Anna Reilly that I recognized instantly as a Perfectioneur. Anna worked in a corporate office, had confidence and pleasure in her work, and was attached to her cell phone, even going so far as to carry it on a garter while in an evening dress! She was driven. She was respected. She had opportunities to excel within her company. As the plot of the movie advanced, Anna eventually questioned if she worked too much, recognizing that she wanted time for a career and time for quality relationships.

Spoiler alert! Anna, as a healthy Perfectioneur, found she could have both a rewarding job and meaningful relationships! It was reassuring. It was a happy ending. And it was one concept Anna spoke about that really resonated with me as a fellow Perfectioneur. She was talking to the mother of her then-secret romantic partner when she said she wanted someone to share it all with. Share what? Her victory energy. Anna stated she wanted to share her victory energy with a partner at the end of her day. The energy created by accomplishing something so satisfying, it leaves one on an emotional high. Giddy with accomplishment. Energized with enthusiasm. Anna wanted celebrate it and share it with someone she loved. 

As a therapist and entrepreneur, I too want more victory energy. I too want to share it with the person I love. As a therapist, I can’t always share the clinical victories in having to maintain confidentiality. However, I can share the victories of being an entrepreneur of several growing businesses, celebrating creativity with purpose.  

Experience the Victories

The first step in having more victory energy is noticing it. Notice the potential for victory energy, encouraging it to grow stronger. Be self-aware enough to feel the warm fuzzies of it followed by enhancing the way it makes you feel. Find yourself stoking the ember of excitement into a solid flame that warms you from the inside out. You’ve felt this feeling before. For some, it’s the victory of winning at a sporting event. For others, it’s the pleasure you feel after getting great feedback, a promotion, or a new opportunity. It’s euphoric. It’s a rush. And it feels amazing.  Engage your five senses to express victory energy fully. What visuals do you associate with it? What smells? What sounds? Elevate the feeling by noticing it fully, so you don’t miss the chance to feel the pleasure of it.

Understand your Baseline

The challenge of victory energy is that it doesn’t last forever. As humans, we don’t get to feel that high consistently. Our body is structured to return to baseline, representing an average emotional state when absent of stimulation. In other words, you eventually have to come down from the high of victory energy, which can feel disappointing or painful. In fact, author of The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks would say we are prone to subtle self-sabotage to maintain the status quo. If we find ourselves moving into our “Zone of Genius”, what Gay Hendricks describes as our optimal zone for fulfillment, purpose, and happiness, it can be expected that something happens to bring us back to our “Zone of Excellence.” Perhaps due to disbelief that we achieved this higher level of functioning, discomfort at the change, or core beliefs stating that we don’t deserve great things. Hendricks gives examples of sabotage like picking a fight with our spouse after receiving good news, or getting ill after obtaining the job of our dreams. Regardless of how it manifests, it’s important to understand your subconscious reactions to victory energy in order to navigate the challenges and embrace the benefits.

Build your Gratitude Practice

Now that you’re fully aware of the feeling and how fleeting it can be, capture your victory energy in words as part of a gratitude practice. What are you grateful for? What were the contributing factors to foster this feeling? How can you download the experience further, forming it into a pleasant memory to be revisited again and again if desired? Perhaps you engage in a writing exercise to capture the moment. For Anna Reilly, she wanted to share it with someone in real time when making the memory. She wanted to amplify the good feelings of victory energy by feeling the excitement and pleasure of sharing it with someone else. Who would you share your victory energy with? How could their participation assist in keeping the positive feelings flowing and growing?

Victory energy, like gratitude, has the potential to be life-changing. Celebrating success without fear of being cocky. Naming gratitude so we can fully download the experience at a cellular level. However you embrace it, I wish you more victory energy. The powerful practice of mindfulness, gratitude, and connection with others. I wish you more victory energy so that you too can feel the rush of excitement. To feel fully alive. I wish you a happy ending like Anna’s. May your victory energy be plentiful and celebrated with all whom you love.

Pivoting in Practice: How to Embrace Business Change within a Pandemic

We’ve been riding the rollercoaster of this pandemic for months. It’s almost hard to believe. We can’t even begin to fathom the full results of this event and the impact on our businesses. As therapists, we know we must fortify ourselves for the mental health crisis that comes with COVID-19. As a colleague, I’m hearing that we are burning out, stretched too thin by grief, anxiety, and tragic loss. In the grand scheme of things, this means we will need more mental health professionals to carry the load. It also means therapists are maintaining smaller caseloads to allow for self-care in the face of overwhelm. As business owners, we are clenching our muscles and leaning in. As entrepreneurs, we are rallying. Now is the time for pivoting and planning. Months into COVID-19, we are looking for ways to pivot to allow our practices and businesses to not only survive, but thrive.

Planning to Pivot?

Pivoting is a term in business for shifting gears, changing direction, and/or finding new focus. As private practice owners, we get the opportunity to pivot in order to address life’s changes and challenges in ways we feel are a good fit for our business. For some of you, pivoting means:

·      Offering telehealth

·      Providing webinars

·      Speaking online

·      Developing online coursework

·      Writing blogs or a book

·      Identifying a secondary income stream

It can be exciting to start new endeavors, and it can also be challenging. Let’s recognize that creativity can feel limited when other responsibilities require your attention and stress levels are so high that they may hurt your ability to focus. You don’t have to do this all in one shot. You don’t even have to do this alone. Here are some ideas to help you move deeper into a creative mindset to better your business.

Schedule Time for Creativity

That’s right. Put it in your calendar. Where can you find time to work ON your business rather than in it? Can you map out time for brainstorming? Writing? Course creation? Conversations with other inspiring entrepreneurs? I too have learned that if I don’t schedule it, it doesn’t happen!

Move your Body

Have you ever noticed that some of the most brilliant minds are depicted as pacing in movies when trying to figure something out? There is a reason for that! Movement allows deeper processing, especially when it’s a repetitive, low-energy motion like walking or pacing. So get outside and take a walk, allowing your mind to mull over the possibilities at an easy pace.

Remember your ‘Why’

No matter where you decide to take your business, be sure to slow down enough to check in on your ‘why.’ Does this new endeavor support your values and brand? Does it support your mission as a person and as a professional? Carry a notebook and write down ideas as they come to you. Run new ideas by a trusted colleague or friend to see what they think. 

Invigorating Investments

For many entrepreneurs, if the pivot aligns with their business, it can feel both exciting and invigorating to have a direction to go and plan of action to take.  You see, entrepreneurs enjoy building and creating and they feel much more emotionally invested when creating something new or worthwhile. I hope that you too can experience the excitement (dare I say giddiness?) of pivoting in your practice to support your mission, vision and brand. Check out my book Perfectioneur: From Workaholic to Well-Balanced launching June 1st for other ideas on how to thrive as a driven entrepreneur. I can’t wait to see what you create!

Finding Your Passion Projects in a Pandemic

Limit screen time. Exercise. Video chat with family and friends. Go outside. Get restful sleep. America has been bombarded with advice as to how to cope with the current pandemic, and for good reason. This is a time of uncertainty. A time of adjustment. A time for reflection of what is most important. None of us were prepared for the life-changing event that is COVID-19, and as we enter week 5 of stay-at-home orders (here in Colorado), we find ourselves trying to pass the time and hoping for good news at the end of April. Will we get a normal May? June? July? Will we again appreciate live concerts, large gatherings, and colorful festivals that dominate the summer months? Will we plan vacations and travel in the same way as we did before? Will we embrace changes in how our businesses are run? It’s hard to say what the rest of 2020 holds, with many of us taking it one week at a time, both for our sanity and in wanting CDC recommendations to plan our next move.

So how do we stay sane? For some, it’s the escape that Netflix, video games, and reading a good book can offer. Successfully escaping into another world to get our minds off the here and now. For others, it’s framing COVID-19 as an opportunity to reconnect with immediate family, pick up a hobby, or complete projects at home that were pushed off in the past in having no time. I have to admit, my clients have so far reinforced my belief that finding opportunities supports sanity. I feel proud of them in their ability to stay hopeful and attempt to adjust amidst understandable worry, anxiety, and restlessness.

Of course, I need to name the privilege for both myself and my clients in having the luxury of creativity and time for passion projects. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs has resurfaced in the public eye and can be used to normalize the contrast between feelings of barely functioning to extreme productivity, and everything in between. Each person can place themselves at a different level of Maslow’s model during this uncertain time. The understanding is that a person’s basic needs of water, food, shelter, and safety MUST come first before anything requiring higher energy can be achieved. As a therapist, I’ve been quick to mention this to colleagues who were expressing their disappointment of moving to telehealth and feeling like momentum would be lost with their clients. I’ve reassured clients that we will take it day to day, week to week to determine how they adjust best and learn to cope. I too, have needed the reminder for days where worry creeps in a little louder than usual, worry that manifests in thoughts like, “What if I run out of projects? When will I have my meltdown? What if I lose focus? What if my mood tanks? What if I can’t hold hope for my clients that this will get better?” One colleague wrote it beautifully on social media. She named that she’s tired. Tired of holding space for others. Tired of the judgement. Tired of the news. I’m tired too. All therapists are tired. We all are getting tired of this. To make it tolerable, we find ourselves grasping for hope, something to look forward to, or something to help us hang on and keep going.

For me, it’s passion projects. You see, I must own my privilege as a white, middle-class citizen who is married with no children. I feel gratitude that my job and my spouse’s job are safe and secure by transitioning to working remote. I also recognize, as a Perfectioneur (Perfectionist Entrepreneur), I have stepped up my game to complete a variety of projects in the last four weeks to feel like I’m making progress, have momentum, and am still creating plans and goals that can make a difference. I understand that my story isn’t the story of all people. I understand that I am lucky to have my basic needs secure and solidified to allow for this higher work to be the focus. If you feel like you are fortunate enough to be in a similar situation, you too might be working hard to find your passion projects during this pandemic.

Why does passion matter? For Perfectioneurs and other entrepreneurs, we are happiest when we are creating, innovating, and supporting meaningful change. So it’s no wonder that we would do our best to embrace the opportunities the pandemic provides to work on things that have always felt important but have been pushed further down the to-do list due to busy-ness. As the result of COVID-19, we have been forced to slow down. To re-evaluate. To plan. In my first four weeks of the stay-at-home orders, I’ve written half a dozen blogs, finished a draft of a new book, created supplemental material for an online subscription service, and filmed and launched two new online courses. 

I’m not asking for a pat on the back because I’m not unique. In fact, some of our most celebrated creatives produced their best works while under quarantine. Check out these articles that named William Shakespeareand Isaac Newton, as two examples. Perhaps it speaks to the value of space and time to allow ideas to come forward. The ideas generated when we have time on our hands, can’t sleep, or when we are forced to sit with our own thoughts in the early hours of the morning when limited distractions are available. As you can imagine, this could easily shift into mental health challenges or crises when thoughts unravel our sense of purpose, identity, or make us question it all. 

But for others, these thoughts can lead to strokes of genius or passion projects. Holding onto hope that the challenges we face in the present will lead to something beautiful in the future! How do we embrace that gift of creativity? The ah-ha moments leading to meaningful change? 

1.     Take a walk

Walking supports bilateral (left-right-left-right) movement in the body that can support creative thoughts and ideas. It’s a reason why people find themselves pacing when trying to find an answer. Movement can be a powerful strategy in generating solutions to the problems we face.

2.     Write it down

Keep a journal or notebook handy. Or use your notes feature in your phone. Some of our best ideas come to us right before sleep, in a dream, or while we are chatting with a colleague or friend. Writing it down captures the idea for later while giving you permission to be present in the moment.

3.     Run it by a colleague or friend

There’s something powerful about sharing an idea with a trusted colleague or friend to see what questions come up. Do they see the same value you do? Do they have additional perspective that would help your passion project form? 

4.     Workshop it 

If your passion project holds the potential to help others, workshop it to take a deeper dive into its value. Who is the intended audience? Who are your competitors? What pain point are you addressing and why? What makes it stand out? How does your passion project offer a solution?

Passion projects, like hobbies, can support moments of joy and feelings of progress and momentum. In a world that feels stuck as the result of COVID-19, projects can be a welcomed escape from the stress of the unknown. Not everyone will have the ability to embrace passion and creativity in dealing with immense pain, grief and loss as the result of the pandemic. Passion projects could offer some respite from the heaviness and hopelessness felt throughout our communities. After all, we are allowed to feel both gratitude and grief at the same time. So I hope you will consider unlocking your creative potential during this strange moment in time. Embrace your own resiliency. Our passions can bring out the best in us while we adapt in the face of adversity, helping map out positivity and sense of progress in the current pandemic.

To Conquer or Die: Pivoting as a Recovering Perfectioneur

Control Freak.

Entrepreneur.

Workaholic.

Type A Personality.

Perfectioneur.

A Perfectionist Entrepreneur

Have you ever worked so hard at something that you made yourself sick? Maybe it was that time at the gym where you pushed yourself so hard in a workout that you felt physically ill. Or during dead week in college, that week before finals, where you worked so hard to feel prepared, only to get sick after finals were over. Working so hard to master something, it’s something I know a lot about as a Recovering Perfectioneur. 

There are many Perfectioneurs in this world, managing the workforce with the badge of busy-ness. 

How’s life? It’s busy! 

How are you? So busy! 

Responding to an American culture of independence and prosperity, we are a breed of Entrepreneurs driven by desires to create, to make an impact, and to lead change. A group of hustlers that epically fail at self-care and work-life balance. Running themselves into the ground out of a desire to accomplish things that feel important, meaningful, and worthwhile. A group of Millennial and Gen-Z ers who were taught to work hard for what they want, only to find themselves overworked, burnt out, and with higher risks of anxiety and depression.

A phrase that captures this experience: To conquer or die. It’s a family motto I believe to my core, even going so far as to tattoo it on my body! And as a result, I was nearing collapse and total breakdown. That’s when I learned I needed to recover as a Perfectioneur.

That’s me, now what? 

So maybe you resonate with this definition of Perfectioneurs. If this is you, there is hope! Let’s look at some ideas outside of the commercialized concepts of self-care that can help you heal and grow for the better.

1.     Rest versus Restoration

Self-care from an American standpoint might present like a vacation, massage, or other costly thing that is meant to encourage a person to slow down and take a breather. For many of us, the luxury of spending money on such items can be a struggle. Perhaps it’s not even the financial stress but the struggle to carve out a chunk of time in your full schedule to complete it. Feeling like we don’t have time is half the battle. With this in mind, it’s no wonder planners have come back into popularity, with the purpose of blocking out time for yourself, your friends, and your family.

So now it’s the weekend and you decide to binge watch Netflix and lounge on the couch to rest after a very full week. Do you find yourself feeling rested? What about restored? Rest is the idea of limited or low activity. There is purpose to rest. But for so many of us, rest doesn’t provide us with renewed stamina or energy to keep achieving and progressing. We are still tired. We are still overwhelmed.

Instead, perhaps we embrace the concept of restoration. What are some things that energize you, restore your energy, revitalize you, bring you back to yourself? Interestingly enough, the list of ideas for self-care shift when presented from the lens of restoration! Maybe now you are thinking about being in nature, cooking a delicious meal, or dancing to good music. Rest and restoration have value for Perfectioneurs and Entrepreneurs, it’s important to identify a balance of both.

2.     Who’s in your orbit?

As you think deeper about restoration, perhaps there are cherished people in your life that you want to be involved in that experience. Do you feel restored when surrounding yourself with loved ones? Fellow Entrepreneurs? Creative thinkers? Dreamers? Giving yourself permission to explore the relationships that energize you can be insightful into how you spend your time. Recognizing individuals who drain you, ask too much of you, or relationships that just don’t feel reciprocal, can be adding to your risk of burnout when feeling overworked and overscheduled. Give yourself permission to focus on the relationships that boost your energy and creative spirit, they will be the ones you’ll want to schedule and make time for because of how they make you feel.

3.     Find your Focus

Balancing your time, your relationships, and your goals can be difficult. And yet, now that you’ve identified the relationships and activities that energize you, you can bring those goals into focus. What if I asked you to write down some goals that are showing up in your mind in this very moment? What items are on your agenda? 

What if I told you that you can only focus on 7 goals in the next 6 months? For those of you who are hustling hard, this may feel restrictive, challenging, and create anxiety and resentment. What would you cross off your list, giving yourself permission to focus on only these 7 goals for the next 6 months? It may feel difficult at first, but it’s amazing to find yourself making more significant progress on the 7 goals because you are also saying NO to everything else. We know that multitasking can be done, but at the risk of lower productivity and limited outcomes since your energy is spread too thin. I encourage you to embrace this exercise of identifying 7 top priorities in your goals list and leave the rest to be added when these 7 are accomplished. You might surprise yourself in how you feel, recognizing more energy, focus, and progress as the result of your efforts!

These are just three strategies that I’ve worked on in order to come back to balance, health, and healing.  And like anyone else in recovery, it’s a choice every day to do something that’s in your best interest. If you decide to take the leap, recognizing yourself as a workaholic, a Type A person, an Enneagram Type 3, or as a fellow Perfectioneur, I can’t wait to see how these strategies work for you, not only to move closer to your values and feelings of fulfillment but to change the narrative of Entrepreneurs for the next generation trying to make a difference for all.

If you’ve run yourself into the ground, the only direction to go is up!