Millennials

Participation Trophies and Perfectionism

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What if participation trophies have caused more harm than good? The running criticism of the Millennial generation is that participation trophies were awarded to kids to make sure no one was left out and to promote a feeling that everyone wins. Enter eye rolls of the older generations as we explore how participation trophies could be a possible culprit of increased perfectionism in both Millennial and Gen Z generations.

 

The Millennial generation is defined roughly as individuals born 1980-1996. Stereotyped as the entitled generation that moves from one job to the next, Simon Sinek was willing to name some of the challenges in his viral video on Millennials in the workplace. Dr. Jean Twenge explored additional factors for this generation in her book Generation Me. Thanks to her research, I discovered a detailed picture of how and why perfectionism has elevated since the early 1980s. Additionally, the full experience of Millennial finances and workaholism is captured in Anne Helen Petersen’s book Can’t Even: How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation.

 

Following the Millennial generation, Gen Z captures folks born roughly 1996-2004 and has been named a generation that is more open to talking about mental health, quality of life, and feelings of isolation. Dr. Twenge dedicates a book to this generation’s challenges called iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy—And What That Means for the Rest of Us. Serving this population in my mental health practice, I continue to see themes of perfectionism, anxiety, and burnout based on high expectations of themselves to perform well and achieve success.

 

How does this connect back to participation trophies? Please allow me to explain. A client of mine was doing therapeutic work around messaging their received in childhood about their worth being wrapped up in what they do. Their belief was that the more they do, the more value they possess in the eyes of others. They described getting a participation trophy for an event and recognized that it mean nothing to them because everyone else got one too. Not only that, they felt the trophy encouraged imposter syndrome in feeling like a fraud! Therefore my client felt they had to work even harder to earn accolades and positive feedback on their worth as they got older. Enter workaholism, poor boundaries, and absent self-care which landed them in my office.

 

Does this resonate with you as it does with me? As an Elder Millennial and therapist, I recognize powerful patterns in my own worth as well as my clients work. Is it possible that participation trophies started a spiral of messaging that our worth is wrapped up in what we do? Combined with money earned for good grades, promotions for working overtime, and focusing on our children’s accomplishments when asked how they are, is this not the perfect storm for perfectionism, workaholism, and resulting burnout as adults?

 

Participation trophies are not the only piece of this puzzle. I am honored to continue this journey of self-discovery with my clients as a Perfectioneur, mental health therapist, and burnout consultant. My client’s disclosure provided another layer of perspective related to rising perfectionism and burnout in these two generations. It’s not the end of our story! Our narratives of self-worth, value, and workaholism are worth exploring and rewriting to remove our badges of busyness and achieve better work-life balance!

Attract and Retain Millennials: a quiz to learn how to make a greater impact with your Millennial employees.

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1.When assigning a task to a Millennial employee, what is your best approach?

a. Explain why the project is important and why their role is valuable

b. Convince them by repeating yourself until they agree

c. Send an email of the project and deadline

d. Tell them they need to do it promptly or else consequences will follow 

 

2.What is the best way to have your Millennial employee feel valued at work?

a. Give them more work to do

b. Advocate for them on their behalf during a tough meeting

c. Remind them that they are just a cog in the wheel 

d. Take them to coffee outside of the office 

 

3.What is the best way to empower your Millennial employee in the workplace?

a. Give them flexible hours and the option to work from home periodically 

b. Provide free food

c. Allow them to wear jeans more regularly 

d. Tell them to just keep working hard and good things will come 

 

4.What is the best way to instill loyalty in your Millennial employee?

a. Have them sign a non-compete agreement so they don’t leave

b. Tell them that this is the best company for them

c. Promote them to a new role without a pay increase or title change

d. Create a compensation package that supports work life balance

 

5.What is the best way to provide constructive feedback to your Millennial employee?

a. Give them tough love

b. Use the sandwich technique

c. Don’t provide feedback at all because Millennials are sensitive 

d. Provide verbal affirmations in constructive and compassionate ways

6.What is the best way to keep your Millennial employee happy and satisfied in their position? 

a. Ask them often if they are happy

b. Buy donuts weekly 

c. Consider creating more rungs in the ladder of career advancement

d. Have them take a quiz on happiness in the workplace 

Add up your points for each response: 1. a-4 b-1 c-3 d-2 2. a-2 b-4 c-1 d-3 3. a-4 b-2 c-1 d-3

4. a-1 b-2 c-3 d-4 5. a-2 b-3 c-1 d-4 6. a-3 b-1 c-4 d-2.  Total Points:______

Score 24-19: Cool, I’m a Millennial Expert!

Score 18-12: Middle of the road Millennial management

Score 11-6: Nope, Millennials are Aliens!