These strategies are for you if:
1) Work has become your first priority over family, relationships, self-care, or social activities
2) You’ve have a hard time saying no to more projects, more time, or more opportunities
3) You’ve canceled social plans because of having to work more or work late
4) You’ve been working weekends or late into the evening in an attempt to get ahead
5) You’ve checked your emails compulsively when feeling bored
6) You’ve felt guilty or restless when experiencing down time
7) You’ve worked while on vacation
8) Your sleep is disrupted by anxiety or worry about your business
9) You’ve taken on more in wanting to feel stable financially
10) When people ask how you are, you’ve said "busy."
Do you worry that you are a workaholic? Studies indicate an increase in work addiction or workaholism thanks to COVID restricting our after work activities and lifestyles. Let’s take a deeper dive into how things have shifted.
COVID has challenged our boundaries in the following areas:
· Work
· Family
· Finances
COVID is responsible for symptoms like:
· Poor work-life separation
· Sleep disruption
· Loss of energy and increased fatigue
· Loss of creativity
· Increased workaholism
· Increased stress (scarcity and uncertainty)
· Limited opportunities for connection
· Isolation and loneliness
· Relationship conflict
· Shorter fuse and increased irritability
· Brain fog and inattention
· Escapism
Can you relate? Let’s take a closer look at each sphere that’s been challenged by COVID and what we can do about it.
At Work
Let’s start with the Work Sphere since we are talking about Workaholism. Workaholism can be defined as an addiction to work where work feels like the top priority and there is guilt or anxiety when not working. It also describes serious struggles with work-life separation.
So where is the link between COVID and workaholism?
-Even less work-life separation in working from home
-Increased workaholism in not having after-work activities available
-Loss of creativity in feeling stuck
-Brain fog and inattention
So even though we are working more than ever, people are describing a decline in productivity! Let’s look at some ways to improve your experiences at work.
Work Exercises
1) Set Boundaries
Schedule your lunches, your breaks, your do-no-disturb phone settings at night and on weekends. Your best friend in battling workaholism? The schedule email feature! Even when you have a thought, don’t send an email, schedule it! Model good boundaries for others by having those emails populate on a work day, even if your creativity hits you on weekends or odd hours!
2) Set Rituals to Leave Work at Work.
This may seem harder in not having the commute from your office to your home but it is an opportunity for creativity. Are you powering down your computer? Changing your clothes? Separating work from home by moving to another space? Do you restrict the space you work in rather than having it bleed over onto the couch where you also like to relax? Can you pack up your work items and put them away? One colleague of mine would pack up her things and walk down the hall to the front door and back, mentally transitioning to being home. Whatever ritual works best for you, give it a conscious try for 30 days to see if it makes a difference!
3) Go Lean on Lists
A popular exercise from our Amazon #1 Best Seller Perfectioneur: From Workaholic to Well-Balanced, this may feel even more relevant in battling brain fog. Our minds can only remember 7+-2 memory items at a time.
Write down all the things you want to accomplish in the next 6 months. Next, narrow it down to your top ten priorities. Are they truly your top ten? If so, you aren’t allowed to focus on any of the other tasks until these 10 are done. This means not adding to your list or taking on new projects as a serial entrepreneur. Resistance and anxiety may appear, just know that if you embrace your top 10, the benefits of feeling more focused and productive makes the discomfort worth it!
4) Carve Out Time for Creativity
It’s not about arts and crafts as much as it is about honoring the times when you get your best ideas. Adam Grant speaks about 20% of your work week being allotted for creativity. Are you a morning person who likes to get things done early? Are you a night owl with your best ideas after the quiet of others going to bed? It’s worth taking a look at reworking your schedule to carve out time for these moments of creative thought to support you, your business, and your family.
Family Sphere
Speaking of Family, a second element impacted by COVID and workaholism is the Family Sphere.
-We’ve established there is poor work-life separation. Working from home. Those of you with kids might have had to homeschool at some point.
-The added stress of balancing out added responsibilities is increasing irritability and creating a shorter fuse! Snapping at your kid for leaving dishes in the sink. Coming unglued by the piles of laundry. It’s a lot to manage on a good day, let alone in a pandemic.
-This leads to zoning out and escapism. When overwhelmed or feeling stuck, we feel we want to escape into something easy or effortless. It might be a video game, movie, or show.
-The final area of the family sphere to note is increased relationship conflict. This might be between you and your kids or you and your partner or spouse. Perhaps it’s too much togetherness in quarantine where you can’t take a break from one another. Or isolation and loneliness in not being able to see your family in person very often.
Family Exercises
1) Self-Care Redefined
One way to address these challenges is by redefining Self-care as rest vs. restoration. The commercialized self-care options of vacations and spa days weren’t available at the start of COVID, financially or from a place of feeling safe. If we redefine self-care as rest vs. restoration, something amazing happens, it feels doable again. So what is rest? We are pretty good at resting like staying in our sweats all weekend, not making plans, or binge watching a show. Yet equally important is restoration. What energizes you, invigorates you, restores you to a place where you have energy in the tank again? Perhaps it’s being in nature, petting your dog, listening to music, or dancing around the house? I also encourage you to revisit what you used to enjoy as a kid. Is it about flying a kite, having a picnic, or playing with LEGO?
2) Self-Care Solo or Together
Once you get the juices flowing on possible self-care activities, I want to challenge you to have some ideas for each of these four categories:
· solo quiet (like reading a book, writing, knitting, meditating)
· solo active (like taking a walk, stretching, dancing around the house)
· together quiet (like listening to music, watching a show, taking a drive)
· together active (like cooking, an exercise class, learning something new)
By having ideas that fit all four categories, you have a greater likelihood to remain flexible in the face of fatigue, picking the activity that works best to restore you. What I appreciate about these exercises is that they don’t cost a lot of money. After all, our last sphere impacted by COVID is the Finances Sphere.
Finances Sphere
What if the rise in Workaholism is due to:
-Financial insecurity –Our changing economy and fluctuating revenue? What if we find ourselves reacting by reducing spending and increased anxiety? Have you noticed anger and a desire for control around a fluctuating bank account or compulsively checking to see what funds are available each day?
-This leads to us operating from a place of scarcity. Due to uncertainty and the unknown, we find ourselves worries about the what ifs. What if I get laid off? Fired? What if I lose my job? Lose my contract? What if I can’t pay my bills?
Finances Exercise
Based on this stressful experience, we want to take our power back.
Grab a pen and paper and try out this writing exercise. Ask yourself:
1. What is my current relationship with money? Allow the thoughts and feelings to come out on paper, unscripted and unfiltered. What themes do you notice?
2. How do you want your relationship with money to shift or change? Again, allow the thoughts and feelings to pour freely. What’s one thing you can do to get yourself that one step closer to a healthier relationship with your money?
A Money Quiz
Ready to look a little deeper? There are four scripts that provide messaging of how we should behave with our money. Let’s look at a quiz first and record your responses.
B) Here’s a playful Quiz to get us started in a conversation about our relationship with money
You get a bonus at work. You decide to:
1. Buy that pair of shoes you’ve been eyeing. (S)
2. Put it straight into your 401K. (V)
3. Text your besties, “we’re going out and I’m buying!” (W)
4. What bonus? You haven’t checked your bank account balance in weeks. (A)
You’re calculating your quarterly taxes for your business this year and find yourself:
1. Feeling confident that you’ve put enough aside for when taxes are due. (V)
2. Hoping for a tax return to fund your next much-needed vacation. (W)
3. Starting to sweat. Can’t you put this off until next week? (A)
4. Excited to upgrade to the latest phone you’ve been wanting. (S)
Your parent wants to sit down and talk about their estate planning as part of their retirement. You respond by:
1. Brushing them off saying you are busy for several months. (A)
2. Giving advice on what they should do with all their money. (S)
3. Asking how you can help celebrate their hard work. (W)
4. Worrying about how the maintain the estate if they ask you to. (V)
You stumble across a video on the importance of running financial reports as a business owner. Your reaction is:
1. Determination to work even harder to see those numbers grow. (W)
2. An upset stomach and your mind going blank. (A)
3. Anticipation about your next big purchase. (S)
4. Eagerness to invest your profits for your future. (V)
Curious what the quiz means? The responses are capturing the 4 scripts in action!
Avoidant (A)
“I don’t want to talk about money.”
· Doesn’t ask for raises or promotions
· Minimizes own abilities and paid opportunities
· Requires workaholism to make ends meet?
Worship (W)
“The more money I make, the happier I’ll be.”
· May experience hoarding
· May spend in large amounts to show love to others
· Increased risk of workaholism
Status (S)
“My self-worth is tied into how much money I make.”
· Desire to display wealth publicly
· More often seen in young adults
· Work hard, play hard
Vigilant (V)
“I can feel in control of my money.”
· Doesn’t spend money lavishly or gamble
· High anxiety about money
· Difficulty enjoying money due to feelings of guilt after purchases
Which script do you relate to most? Which script do you prefer? What’s one thing you can do to get yourself one step closer to a healthier relationship with your money?
Workaholism continues to impact work, family, and finances. Are you ready to celebrate work-life balance and leave workaholism behind? Practicing solid work boundaries, redefining self-care, and healing your money relationship can bring you closer to balance. Grab our Amazon #1 Best-Seller Perfectioneur: From Workaholic to Well-Balanced and subscribe to our YouTube channel for even more tools.
