Christie is a mom, published author, therapist, and creator of The Partnerhood, a digital community for supportive parenting strategies and connection. It’s creation is partly inspired by her own journey into motherhood of two children. “Both times rocked my world in different ways,” Christie named. The first time was marked not only by a traumatic birth experience, but also by undiagnosed postpartum anxiety and having no network of local support outside of one friend and her husband. She spoke of the experience of becoming a mother in isolation and with limited support, something many mothers can understand from their own, similar experiences. In addition to a traumatic birth experience with her first child, Christie identified that starting her private practice while pregnant wasn’t an easy task. “I wouldn’t recommend it,” she teased. “It was like having two babies at once.”
Her second child was born in November 2019, with COVID following close behind. “I felt like I started off with a strong plan. I had recently gained more friendships with other moms, was in a good place mentally, my business was flourishing, but after only a few weeks into getting my daughter into daycare, everything shut down. I felt so isolated. It threw me into a deep depression.” Christie shared how the pandemic took away her already limited support network and left her home by herself with her two young kids. “My husband was able to leave the house every day for work, almost like normal. Meanwhile, I was thrown into homeschooling a kindergartener, seeing clients virtually, and caring for my baby.” Her depression symptoms deepened to the point where she was experiencing suicidal thoughts and wanted to give up. “I started looking for a therapist, but had little luck.”
Christie identified how difficult it was to find a therapist at that time because it was the height of COVID-19 in 2020, when many folks were looking for support. “I even called the crisis line, knowing I needed to talk to somebody.” She was finally able to start working with someone, although it was a process to feel more like herself again. “I was resentful. I was ragey with my kids. I had to ask myself, what do I need?”
Working on her needs post-pandemic included prioritizing external supports and including regular meetups with friends, quiet time to herself, therapy, and activities like yoga, hiking, and reading. Many parents can relate to the effort of taking care of themselves as well as their families, and learning how to juggle it well. “I don’t like the word ‘balance’ because it still symbolizes piling things on to get it all done. You can technically ‘balance’ a really heavy load, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. I prefer ‘work-life harmony’ instead,” Christie shared.
What is work-life harmony? Christie describes it as taking care of ourselves, our loved ones, and our businesses with a grounded satisfaction that leads to feelings of happiness and fulfillment. Having solid supports and self-care are part of this equation for Christie, who said, “Parenting is hard. Having a solid foundation of support makes a huge difference.” She hopes others will cultivate supports as part of their own mental health and wellness journey, and she has plans to re-launch The Partnerhood as another avenue of support and connection for other overwhelmed parents. “Loneliness is magnified without support and quality support eliminates isolation.”
Things happen to us as humans, even as we support our clients as professional helpers. Do you have a story you want to share the mental health community? Email us at croswaitecounselingpllc@gmail.com to learn more about the Human in the Helper Series!