Understanding Insurance Terms in Private Practice

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Whether you are a client or a professional, navigating insurance can feel like learning a new language. With so many terms, it’s hard to feel confident when helping a client dissect their coverage for services at the start of therapy. Let’s take a look at some of the common terms in insurance when providing mental health services to clients in private practice.

1.     Provider: Professional person providing services

2.     Member: Person with insurance seeking services

3.     Claims: Billing documentation to request payment for services rendered

4.     CMS 1500 Form: The form used when submitting paper claims, including Medicaid and Medicare

5.     EOB/Explanation of Benefits: Break down of benefits and rates of reimbursement to a member per their insurance plan

6.     Copay: the amount a member owes the provider at the time of service

7.     Deductible: The amount a member must pay out of pocket before services are covered fully by insurance.

For example, a $5000 family deductible means the family must pay $5000 for services within one year before insurance will pay for any additional costs at 100%. This usually covers both medical and mental health services if those are included in the member’s plan.

A high deductible results in the member paying for mental health therapy out of pocket until the deductible is met, which creates the most confusion for clients, especially if they know they have a $0 copay and now have to pay $150-$250 per session out of pocket.

8.     Superbill: Documentation given from the provider to the member to submit to insurance after member pays for the service out of pocket, for member’s to submit for possible partial reimbursement by insurance.

9.     INN/In Network: Provider is credentialed with the member’s insurance panel

10.  OON/Out of Network: Provider is not credentialed with the insurance panel but member may have OON benefits that cover some of the costs.

11.  Credentialing: Starting the process of getting on an insurance panel

12.  Provider service center/representative: Call center for provider’s questions

13.  Insurance Opt Out Form: a document a client can sign indicating they don’t want to use their insurance (not allowed with Medicaid in Colorado) and have elected to be a private pay client. Check out our example in our online store.

Each client’s insurance coverage will outline different expectations and coverage for services. Ensuring they have mental health benefits is a first step for each client when exploring access to therapy, followed by identifying their copay and/or deductible. This effort can reduce financial barriers to therapy and eliminate surprises, which causes stress for both client and professional when insurance comes back with a different outcome than expected. Although insurance can feel frustrating, it allows greater access to care for folks who are seeking mental health support, and with some additional understanding of the terms, we can feel more confident navigating this system in our practices.

Disclaimer: Khara Croswaite Brindle is not an insurance representative. The definitions above are provided from her experience as an insurance-based private practice owner in Colorado since 2016 and do not replace a formal review of each insurance contract as a credentialed provider running your own independent business.

Exploring Enneagram Types and Money

So many of us are fans of the Enneagram because it explores the possibilities of connecting and relating to others. It also helps us understand our edges and think about ways of growing and adapting. So why not explore how the Enneagram connects to money beliefs and money behaviors within the scope of Financial Therapy? Of course these are considered generalizations based on what I’ve seen in my therapy practice, so they shouldn’t be seen as one-size-fits-all. The intention behind this blog is to get each of us thinking about our Enneagram edges as they relate to money, in order to begin crafting our healthiest relationship with money! I welcome your thoughts as you take a deeper dive into each of the nine types below.

Type 1 Perfectionist: There's only one right way to save money.

Potential Problem: Rigidity and commitment to money decisions may lead to poor outcomes.

Could Enneagram Type 1s be more likely to experience sunk-cost fallacy, which is the phenomenon of being reluctant to abandon or change a money decision because of a diligence and commitment to the decision, even when ending it might be in their best interest? The rigidity of embracing only one way to manage money could present problems of poor investments, a lack of a diverse portfolio, or problems pivoting when money needs to be spent in ways that weren’t the original plan.

Type 2 Helper: I must give others money to be helpful

Potential Problem: Encourages financial dependence in others.

Enneagram Type 2s have a need to be needed. Supporting loved ones, strangers, or even nonprofit causes can reinforce their desire to be financially supportive and thus valuable to others. Their generosity could become a target for manipulation or dependence from others because of their willingness to follow through when helping others in need. They may struggle with saving for their own futures while wanting to help others with theirs.

Type 3 Achiever: I must make more money to be seen as successful.

Potential Problem: Workaholism. Limited joy in money. Feelings that money controls them.

Enneagram 3s may have a difficult time separating their self-worth from their net worth. Their success is measured by what they do and by what they accomplish, so making more money would mean they were more successful in their own eyes and in the eyes of others. This belief encourages workaholism, poor boundaries, and a hustle-mentality. They can also struggle to find joy in money due to their focus on making more of it, with a common belief of feeling controlled by money in their rumination on how much they are making, by what means, and how often.

Type 4 Individualist: Money is bad/corrupt/capitalism.

Potential Problem: Underearner, struggle with meeting money goals, poverty 

Our Enneagram 4s tend to be feelers and creatives. They enjoy deeper conversations, which can include conversations about how money hurts or helps others. Prior to doing their own money work, they may believe that money is bad or corrupt, which can lead to a conscious or subconscious rejection of money, resulting in underearning due to not wanting to hold onto money. Once they do their own money work, 4s may experience a healthy shift from “money is bad” to “money is a tool” or some other neutral belief that changes their relationship with money for the better.

Type 5 Investigator: I must master money and how to invest it.

Potential Problem: Missing understanding of emotional components to money in self and others.

Enneagram 5s tend to be very logical, left-brain individuals. In a quest to best understand money, they may invest time and funds into educating themselves on money matters, including understanding investments and the stock market. Some 5s track money as if it were a job, with a serious commitment to checking their numbers or watching money news daily. Because of their focus on how money works, they may miss opportunities to understand the psychology of money in themselves and others, questioning the emotional decisions of others as incomprehensible or irrational.

Type 6 Loyalist: I must be responsible with my money.

Potential Problem: Deprivation from savings only. Guilt when spending.

Anxiety can plague Enneagram 6s when they are in an unhealthy state, which would include worries about money. 6s may struggle to spend money, fearing consequences or money emergencies where they wouldn’t have enough. They seek to be responsible with their money, and can feel guilt when making purchases without the space for thorough analysis of the consequences, or when making bigger purchases that have a bigger impact on their budget or bank account.

Type 7 Enthusiast: I will spend money to feel happy.

Potential Problem: Limited or no money for retirement or emergencies.

Our Enneagram 7s love to live life to the fullest. This may mean pursuing new experiences or by seeking dopamine through purchases. Others can view them as chasing the next shiny object, which results in judgement. Due to their passion and various interests, 7s can struggle to save money, whether that’s a vacation next year or retirement in 20 years. They live for the moment, which can have a negative effect on their emergency or retirement accounts.

Type 8 Challenger: I will do what I want with my money.

Potential Problem: Conflict in relationships in wanting sole decision making around money. Financial gatekeeper.

Enneagram 8s don’t like to be told what to do, so to tell them to save, spend, or use their money a certain way doesn’t bode well. 8s like to be the boss, which can include managing the money in a business, with their partner, or as a family. Their passionate personalities spur them to want to be sole decision makers with money, which puts them at risk of Financial Gatekeeping and resulting conflict with a partner or spouse.

Type 9 Peacemaker: Money upsets people so we don't have to talk about it.

Potential Problem: Money avoidance or accumulating debt.

Due to their natural role as a mediator, Enneagram 9s don’t voice their wants and needs very often. Their primary goal is to see all sides of an issue and to help keep the peace. Since money is a hot button issue for many people, 9s are more likely to agree to not talk about money, encouraging avoidance to prevent a conflict. As you can imagine, this can lead to money problems where money isn’t talked about, including increasing debt, poor management of money, and a lack of clarity about the future of money since it isn’t talked about.

How do these money challenges and potential problems land with you? Do they resonate with what you know of the Enneagram? By exploring our current relationship with money, we can continue to grow as individuals and partners in relationships, marriages, and communities. I’m a huge fan of knowing our edges, and encourage you to share your thoughts with me in the comments!

Three Things to Consider When Creating a Course for Others

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As mental health professionals, it’s not uncommon to be asked to create a course for others based on your specialties, interests, or populations you serve. It could be a health company wanting a training on suicide assessment, or an HR firm looking for a workshop on burnout prevention. It may be a school wanting strategies for addressing self-harm in teens, or a church community looking for grief and loss resources from a professional within their community. Or perhaps you’ve been outreached by a continued education company that is looking for fresh faces to create quality trainings they can add to their subscription library for current members. Regardless of the audience, here are a couple things to explore before embarking on the journey of creating courses for others.

1.     Have a Contract

Any company or organization serious about working with you to provide a course should have a formal contract outlining the parameters. It’s not enough to have a verbal or email exchange, it’s about having something in writing that gives expectations on things like:

a.     Length of the final training

b.     Deadline for training materials

c.     Format of training being webinar, modules, video, audio, etc.

d.     CE components like learning objectives, references, and quiz questions if required

e.     Intellectual property clarification including that they aren’t hindering you from making similar content for others if you desire to do so

2.     Know the Numbers

In addition to a contract outlining various expectations of you as the creator, it should also house some very important numbers for you to consider before saying yes to the project.

a.     Proposed payment for the completed training (lump sum vs. hourly)

b.     Royalties for the completed training if applicable (percentage earned on the course purchase price)

c.     Affiliate link if applicable and percentage earned off each sale

d.     Timeframe (in months, quarters, or years) for royalties to be earned, and how often they are paid out

3.     Check Boundaries on Your Time

Based on the contract and numbers above, the next step is to compare the creation opportunity to the value of your time. Although most organizations are going to offer a lump sum for course creation over your hourly rate, how do the numbers break down? For example, if they are asking for a 2 hour course for $300, how does that compare to your private pay rate? Does that factor in additional hours of preparation, recording, formatting, and editing content if applicable? Just because the finished product is two hours doesn’t mean it’s going to take you two hours to create it, so sitting in that possibility is important before agreeing to start the course.

So now that you’ve explored the details of your course collaboration, are you ready to sign the contract? Are you feeling overwhelmed or like the timing is off? It’s important to be honest with yourself on all aspects of this endeavor. If you find yourself interested in the project but are not feeling quite confident, maybe there is something that needs to be ironed out before you can give an enthusiastic ‘yes!’ If the company has a restricted budget where they can’t increase your payment, try to negotiate. Here are some ideas of what to ask for:

A.    A longer payout for royalties, such as 3-5 years instead of 2 years

B.    A copy of the recording(s) to use in your own practice or consultation business

C.     Your contact information listed on their site(s) with a backlink to your website to increase your SEO

D.    A copy of their logo to use in your own marketing as a course creator

Each of these suggestions can increase the value of course creation to a busy professional. The process of creating something that expands reach to more people can be exhilarating and rewarding, not to mention it adds credibility to your professional brand. It can also serve as a lead magnet where folks may want to continue to work with you in some capacity, so I hope you’ll take this opportunity to explore course creation as a secondary income stream in your growing private practice!

Seven Books to Specialize in Mother-Daughter Relationships

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As someone who’s written about the mother-daughter relationship and possibilities for estrangement, I’ve been asked by fellow mental health professionals about the books I’d recommend for those who want to specialize in working with adult daughters, mothers, or both mothers and daughters. Here are seven books that may be helpful in seeking this specialty:

1.     Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

This book applies to both mothers and fathers and explores parent-child relationship dynamics where parents are distant, self-involved, or rejecting. It is geared towards adult children seeking answers on why their parents weren’t involved in childhood, including how to heal from attachment trauma.

2.     Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters

Filled with tools and journal prompts to support boundaries, detachment from mother, and self-discovery, this book has been well-received by adult daughters seeking independence from mom.

3.     The Mother-Daughter Puzzle

A book focused on generational trauma and expectations passed from mothers to daughters, the mother-daughter history taking exercise is a powerful mapping of patterns and feminine disempowerment to support change.

4.     Discovering the Inner Mother

With terms of mother-wound and re-mothering showing up more often in pop psychology, this book explores the history of patriarchy and disempowerment of women as contributing factors to mother wounds.

5.     It Didn’t Start with You

An eye-opener for folks, including therapists focused on trauma work! Exploring family trauma and generational trauma, this book provides clarity on healing from systemic and family systems perspectives.

6.     The Good Daughter Syndrome

Published in March 2023, this book talks about four traps adult daughters can find themselves in with their (narcissistic, borderline, or difficult) mothers and provides tools to help daughters detach in healthy ways. With an emphasis on the adult daughter not expecting mom to change, it focuses on reframes and behavioral shifts daughters can embrace to live healthier lives.

7.     Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships

This is my book, published in June 2023. Referencing all of the sources listed above, this book focuses on the factors that contribute to estrangement between mothers and daughters, with a focus on the adult daughter’s experience. From lenses of attachment, abuse, neglect, and trauma, it introduces stages an adult daughter may experience as part of the Estrangement Energy Cycle and tools clinicians can introduce to support their process.

Although this is by no means an exhaustive list, there is plenty to review when wanting to help mothers, daughters, or the mother-daughter relationship. I welcome your sharing of other books you’ve found helpful along the way and hope you’ll stay in touch!

A Caution When Setting Different Rates in Private Practice

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. This content does not replace a professional consultation with a legal representative.

What do I need to consider when setting my rates?

It’s a common question I’m asked as a Financial Therapist to therapists. Although there are multiple factors to explore when raising your rates (join us in our upcoming workshop!), there is another piece to the puzzle that’s been on my mind lately.

For therapists in private practice who take insurance, there are parameters they agree to as part of signing a contract and being in-network. One of which is that Balance Billing is illegal in Colorado. Balance Billing describes billing your full rate to insurance, being paid your contracted rate by insurance, and billing the client the difference. This is a no-no in Colorado.

An example:

Your private pay rate is $150

Insurance pays you $121

You invoice your client for the difference, which is $29

Seems pretty straight forward that this won’t fly. But what about in private-pay practices? Are you allowed to charge different clients different rates?

Yes and no.

For different services, it is common and accepted to have different rates. For example, your individual therapy rate may look different than your couples or family therapy rate, EMDR intensive rate, or 60 versus 90 minute session rates. Some folks are charging a higher rate for “premium times” like evenings, which feels a little sticky unless it’s in writing and known to all clients when scheduling for them to make an informed decision regarding their therapy.

What about charging a client a “supply fee” for being in-person? This feels like a gray area in private pay practices.

What feels even more sticky to me is setting different rates for in-person versus telehealth sessions, which has come up more often as professionals explore hybrid practices where they offer both.

For example:

A therapist charges $150 for a 50 minute telehealth individual session.

They charge $175 for a 50 minute in-person individual session.

The cost difference is that they want to charge more for in-person to offset costs like office space or rent, or gas and supplies like coffee and tea that are utilized for in-person services. As a business owner, I understand that thinking. And yet, the bottom line is that those expenses are tax deductions and part of doing business.

Here are two reasons I would caution a therapist against having different rates for telehealth and in-person sessions.

1.     It feels discriminatory

That’s right, this could put you at risk of being accused of discrimination. What if your client has a disability that requires or prevents them from in-person sessions? Does in-person at a higher rate convey a message to an able-bodied person? There are aspects here to think about as a private practice therapist.

2.     It encourages insurance companies to follow suit with wanting to pay providers less

I can tell you how upset the therapist community was when certain insurance companies suggested a lower reimbursement to therapists for telehealth after the pandemic. The argument against this? We are still doing quality work via telehealth and continue to support meaningful client outcomes towards their goals via video. So if we support a different fee structure for in-person vs. telehealth in private practice with private-pay clients, are we not encouraging insurance to reignite this initiative too? As you can imagine, this would have a negative ripple effect on therapists who want to be paid fairly by insurance, and in response, might limit their number of telehealth sessions which reduces access to care for clients.

So what can you do? Rather than charging different rates for telehealth vs. in person, consider raising your rates overall to address the added expenses of in-person services. Not sure what this needs to look like? Join us August 15th from 12pm-130pm MT to engage in a live webinar workshop on raising your rates.

Raising Your Rates Workshop Objectives

1)    Remove money blocks to raising your rates

2)    Identify factors for raising your rates

3)    Explore strategies for implementing new rates

I hope I can convey that my goal in writing this is to support you as a business owner AND therapist. To hold space for multiple views while also owning that I’m risk-adverse. Raising rates is one aspect to consider in response to added expenses in practice, while knowing that things are constantly changing, which means revisiting ideas often to support your business growth.

Seven Signs of Scarcity in Private Practice

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Scarcity can be defined as “there’s not enough.” As a mental health therapist and Financial Therapist serving fellow therapists and small business owners, I often detect scarcity in the way folks speak their fears out loud. For example, “there’s never enough clients,” “not enough referrals,” or “there isn’t enough money.” With these beliefs come stress and resulting problematic behaviors. Let’s take a look at some warning signs for therapists in private practice that show when scarcity may be driving.

#1 You say yes to a client who’s not a good fit.

Taking on any and every client that calls can be a sign of scarcity. As therapists, we aren’t a good fit for everyone, so we should use caution and practice pausing before taking on clients that aren’t within our wheelhouse. It can also become an ethical concern if we take on a client that would benefit from a speciality that we aren’t trained in.

Scarcity Solution: Identify your ideal client(s) and market to them!

#2 You schedule a client on your lunch to make their schedule work.

I’ve been guilty of this. The client shares that they have a limited schedule, so you offer them your lunch hour to make it work. This could become a recipe for burnout in not taking the much-needed break to rest, eat, and reset during a day full of clients.

Scarcity Solution: Block out your lunches and honor them.

#3 You schedule a client at a time that’s not your ideal schedule.

Your client shares that their schedule is changing and that their original appointment time isn’t going to work any longer. So you respond by offering a Friday or later evening appointment you don’t actually offer to other clients on your caseload. This response of “fitting people in” could lead to burnout or resentment if they begin to expect scheduling exceptions on a regular basis, especially since you set your schedule for valid reasons, such as family, self-care, or other obligations.

Scarcity Solution: Commit to a work schedule to see how you like it. When you identify that schedule, honor it with new and existing clients. You can always change the schedule later as you see fit, it’s a benefit of working for yourself!

#4 Do you feel uncomfortable with a blank spot in your calendar so you seek to fill it?

Perhaps you find yourself nervous with too many open appointment slots in your calendar so you attempt to track down clients who haven’t scheduled in a while, or seek out projects to keep you feeling busy.

Scarcity Solution: Lean into the discomfort. Schedule self-care or a fun project in the free space. Embrace boredom as the catalyst for creativity.

#5 Do you see a lighter schedule so you take on more clients than you actually need to.

As a result, your efforts to take on new clients or add in new commitments leaves you feeling stretched too thin the following week when folks are scheduling regularly again.

Scarcity Solution: Identify a mantra or phrase you can say to yourself when things feel light and anxiety-provoking, that helps you hold fast against an urge to take on more or be overly busy.

#6 You hesitate to raise your rates or move to private pay from insurance because you’re afraid you’ll lose clients.

It is possible that you could lose a handful of clients when shifting away from insurance or raising your rates, and preparing for that possibility helps one feel in control of next steps in response. It’s important to recognize that avoiding a change that would benefit you, your practice, or your family from a business or burnout standpoint is a textbook example of scarcity in private practice.

Scarcity Solution: Gently remind yourself that folks don’t like to start over with new therapists if they can make things work financially. Revisit your numbers to clarify why a pivot to private pay or a higher rate is worthwhile to you in your practice, then make a conscious plan for the transition that supports both you and your clients through the change.

#7 You see colleagues as competition rather than collaborators.

You notice a colleague is doing something similar to you, such as serving the same client population or offering a course or training with similar content. To feel threatened and respond as if they are competition is a sign of scarcity. Instead, recognizing that you each have your own style and that cross-referring could be a helpful to reaching more folks wanting services or content, could result in a beautiful collaboration where you both win!

Scarcity Solution: Recognize that you have your own spin on things and that there are plenty of people looking for what you offer. Network with that colleague to get to know them better. This reduces the internal narrative that they are a competitor and instead helps you see them as a fellow professional.

It's natural to have moments of scarcity in private practice because you are working hard to make your business successful. Therefore it’s important to recognize the signs of scarcity and respond to them in ways that lessen the pull to play small or overwork yourself, instead responding in authenticity and awareness that will build your business best.

Understanding Rupture in Mother-Daughter Relationships: Gina's Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle

Would it surprise you to know that 1 in 12 people is estranged from at least one family member (Agllias, 2016)? With estrangement on the rise, further exploration is needed to best understand the complexities that contribute to making estrangement possible in families. As a mental health professional, I first wrote about estrangement and adult daughters in 2020, asking my therapist colleagues if they too were seeing a pattern in women who were contemplating estrangement from a parent in their clinical work. From that blog, I felt called to take a deeper dive into the cycle of events that can lead to mother-daughter estrangement, a cycle I came to call Estrangement Energy.

(C) Croswaite Counseling, PLLC 2022-Present

There are various stages a daughter may work through in individual therapy as she explores her relationship with her mother. Let’s take Gina* as one example. Gina sought out therapy for processing her divorce, expressing interest in grief and loss work as well as reporting feelings of depression and failure when attempting to meet her children’s needs. As Gina moved towards deeper work on her relationships, she began to question why she allowed multiple people in her life to exert power and control over her. She discovered that the start of this relational pattern resided with her mother.

Cycle of Abuse

Gina engaged in a personal narrative that helped her to recognize her mother’s behaviors as physically and verbally abusive. She had learned to cope with her mother’s volatile mood swings by reading her body language, voice, and mannerisms to best determine if she should engage her mom or go hide in her room until the emotional storm blew over.

Questioning

Having made the connection between an unpredictable and oftentimes unsafe childhood and her honed skill of reading others’ moods, Gina uncovered suppressed feelings of anger and outrage at her mother’s behavior. She began to question her current relationship with her mother and the long term effects it was having on her mental health.

Relationship Rupture

Gina wanted to talk to her mother further about her childhood and the impact on her life, yet every time she attempted to share her memories and feelings about events, her mother told Gina she was exaggerating and remembered things wrong.

Estrangement

Feeling devastated and minimized, Gina determined that she needed some distance from her mother. She started by reducing the amount of time she spent with her, claiming her work and her daughters kept her busy, which were partly true.

Grief and Loss

As the contact between Gina and her mother dwindled, Gina felt a mix of sadness and relief. On one hand, she felt she had more time and energy to give to people in her life who valued and appreciated her. But on the other hand, Gina was grieving the loss of the mother she wanted and needed—one who could respect her and love her unconditionally.

Discovering Sense of Self

Amidst her grief, Gina found herself seeking new experiences that left her feeling vibrant and alive.

Deeper Work

As Gina began to discover herself and her identity without mom, she found she still struggled with the idea of dating and intimate partner relationships. Her latest therapeutic goal was to address underlying fears of intimacy and connectedness, which resulted in uncovering negative core beliefs of being unworthy, unlovable, and not enough.

Redefining Self-Worth

Gina’s therapeutic journey left her feeling stronger and more present that she had in the past. She celebrated having stability at work and solid relationships with her friends. Gina took her role as a mother seriously, wanting something completely different for her daughters than what she’d had with her own mother.

Each client’s story is unique, and yet Gina’s story is one inspired by multiple clients seeking therapy at a critical point in their relationships with their mothers. Estrangement is a challenging and emotional choice that oftentimes leads to an adult daughter seeking therapy for additional support. Whether her goal is reconciliation with mother or full estrangement, having a solid clinical understanding of the estrangement process and stages, as well as tools you can introduce to support your client along their journey, can help the therapy space remain a safe space to do this deep and difficult work.

For more on how to support your clients with their estrangement journey, check out Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter’s Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle launching July 1, 2023 and access all our clinical tools available for download at estrangementenergycycle.com.

Handling the Hate Mail

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You’ve put yourself out there by creating something innovative, passionate, and new. You’ve shut down the naysayers to launch it and are hopeful of its success. It’s a part of you. It’s your baby. Then the hate mail comes in.

It could be a negative comment on your Youtube channel or on your latest blog post. Perhaps it’s a poor review of your book or a google review on your business page. Or maybe it’s a blunt and hostile email landing in your inbox. Wherever it lands, it stings. Like a slap to the face, you aren’t expecting it. It plants a seed of doubt in your mind, causing you to question what you’ve created—or worse—to question your own self-worth.

Unfortunately I speak from experience. As a serial entrepreneur, I know that the more things I put out into the world, the more it increases the risk of folks critiquing me as a person as well as the projects I launch. The first negative review hurts. The first hate mail that attacks one’s character hurts even more. So what can we do about it? How can we cope with the anonymous words that have been weaponized against us? How do we protect ourselves from the folks who want to criticize us from afar? After all, Brene Brown points out that they aren’t in the arena with us, so why do their voices sound so loud? I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I feel compelled to talk about this phenomenon of being cut down by folks cloaked in anonymity, knowing that other creatives and leaders who put themselves out there are experiencing the same thing.

How can we handle the hate mail?

Here are some things that might help:

 1)    Get Some Distance

As the virtual slap to the face hits, it can serve you to physically or emotionally move away from the negativity to get your bearings. Is it worth taking a walk? Distracting yourself with another task? Working off the emotional response with conscious movement? Stepping away from what you are doing to ground yourself?

2)    Seek Support

You don’t have to go through this experience alone. Who can you reach out to that understands what it’s like? Who can offer reassurance, compassion, and kind words in the face of unexpected ugliness? Who can speak to the quality or value of the thing(s) you’ve created? Who believes in your vision?

3)    Reignite Your Passion

The anonymous negativity can cast a shadow on all things that bring you joy if you let it. How can you revisit your vision and return to the passion of your project? Is it healing to talk about it with others who can appreciate your efforts? Can you share it with an audience who would be excited about it? Can you return to the experience of crafting your offering and what made you excited to launch it in the first place?

4)    Reject That Shit

No one wants to hold onto hate mail. What can you do to consciously reject it and send it on it’s way? Is it about cleansing yourself or your space of that negativity? Is it about deleting the email, reporting the post, or setting boundaries on reading comments? Can you visualize repelling the negativity it represents, sending it farther away from you?

5)    Find the Funny

Sometimes the critique isn’t even personal. Maybe they say your creation is boring or that no one cares. Of course the irony is that they read it or watched it or landed on your offering in some way themselves. So how can you find the funny in the painful experience? Is it reading it in a funny voice? Having a witty rebuttal like a celebrity reading hateful reviews on video? If you can’t find the funny in the criticism itself, can you engage in something lighthearted and funny to help you return to your emotional baseline?

6)    Set Social Media Boundaries

There’s a reason folks in the spotlight say they don’t read their reviews. It hurts. What boundaries can you have in place to limit your perusal of comments if it’s more hurtful than helpful?

There is a difference between constructive criticism and hate mail. I choose to believe it says more about them than it does about us. I know that personally, I need to develop a thicker skin against negative remarks in order to continue creating things that I enjoy. To keep the vision and goal of helping others at the forefront of my mind. To continue to operate within my values of integrity, growth, and leadership. Although I wouldn’t wish the experience of hate mail on anyone, I hope that these ideas can prepare you for if and when it happens in your experience as a creative entrepreneur.

The haters are going to hate. Keep going.

Essentials for Course Creation

As you explore a possible secondary income stream of offering courses and course creation, perhaps you are feeling overwhelmed by what you might need to create professional content people would want to purchase. Thankfully, you don’t need a whole elaborate set-up to create quality content, instead consider a few items that make a big difference in delivering a course you can feel proud to launch within your community!

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1.     Light Ring

There is a reason this lands as the number one thing I suggest to colleagues who want to create courses. Having full lighting on your face supports trust in your audience and conveys professionalism. Additionally, people respond best to video content in courses so ensuring they see your face clearly can support participation and full engagement in your content and what you have to share!

2.     Laptop Stand

Looking down isn’t exactly flattering. Wanting to avoid a double-chin in one thing, but cutting off your airway or straining your neck by holding your head in this position for hours a day isn’t recommended either.

3.     Ear Buds or Microphone

Although a stand-alone microphone is the tool of choice for folks who do a lot of interviews or podcasts, the built-in mic of ear buds is sufficient to cutting down outside noise while allowing your voice to come through clearly. Be careful with corded headphones if you talk with your hands or wear collared shirts, the cord can rub against your clothing which would create a sound that is picked up and recorded on the microphone. We know now that people can be forgiving of a grainy picture, but they are much less forgiving of terrible audio.

4.     Video Recording Software

How would you like to record your content? Do you prefer using your phone on a tripod? Or your laptop with Zoom or another meeting software? Either way, you have plenty of inexpensive options for capturing your content before you gear up to do some editing!

Still have questions about creating your online course? Check out our course on creating courses or book a consultation for momentum on your project!

Your Self Publish Starter Kit

Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

Have you had the goal to write a book but don’t know where to start? Here is a quick framework of some natural steps that can help you on your journey from passion to book outline to written book and published author status!

1.     Engage a Course or Book on Publishing

I recommend folks read the book “Published” from some ideas of how to market their book. We’ve also created a course on book writing for fellow professionals called “Professional and Published” which has been accessed by almost 900 people since it’s launch!

2.     Work with a Book Coach

Book coaches can help you move from passion or idea to a concrete process for writing the book itself. They can help you narrow down your audience, focus on your gift, and they can even help edit the book as you begin writing if that’s something you want within their professional support services! One Book Coach we’ve connected with recently is Amy Collette of Unleash Your Inner Author, who focuses on mental health and self-help book authors.

3.     Hire a Book Editor

Of all the things to invest in on your book writing journey, you’ll want to prioritize funds for a book editor to format your paperback and Kindle versions for your launch. It saves a ton of time to work with someone who can do the formatting quickly and easily, helping your final product look professional for folks who purchase your published book. You can find book editors on Upwork.com. Our go-to professional for almost all five of our published books has been Kevin Turner of 789 Book Layout.

4.     Finalize Amazon Keywords

This is a critical step to making sure your ideal audience finds your book among several million books listed online. We enjoy working with Richard Wolf of Wolf Design and Publishing for this service. This company also offers book cover design, best-seller campaigns and more to help your book get noticed!

5.     Complete Market Research

Have you done your research on what books are already out there? What makes your book stand apart? What are the price points you are seeing for similar books?

6.     Write Your Book

Do you struggle with carving out time for the actual writing of your book? Thankfully there are resources out there to help! Locally, The Process Denver is a workspace dedicated to focused work time in effective time blocks to make progress on your project. They also have a writing workshop called “Writers Blok” for folks with goals specific to writing!

7.     Publish Your Book

Complete the steps to self-publish online and viola, your book is officially out there! Once your book is published, you can track sales, numbers of pages read, and customer reviews easily through your author portal. Lastly, don’t forget to periodically check that your book isn’t being plagiarized online. You can read about my own journey of having my best-seller stolen online in my blog here.