Why Financial Therapists Like Loud Budgeting

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Have you heard the term “loud budgeting” in 2024? It’s trending and describes the phenomenon of naming out loud when you can’t afford something, or more accurately, when you have enough money but don’t want to spend it on the thing that’s being asked of you.

Financial therapists know that words have power, so we aren’t about asking people to keep saying “I can’t afford this. I can’t afford that.” That self-talk has a negative effect on mental health and often keeps people living in scarcity. In contrast, loud budgeting is about saying no to spending.

So how do financial therapists see loud budgeting working? What if it can serve as an empowerment tool? What if it names out loud your values and priorities for saving and spending. Loud budgeting from this perspective could sound like:

I don’t want to prioritize that right now.

I don’t want to spend money on that.

That’s not a priority.

I have other goals in mind right now.

I’m saving my money for xxx.

I’ve already met my budget this month for (coffee/eating out/shopping/etc).

No thank you.

Meeting your money goals AND practicing boundaries with others sounds pretty good doesn’t it? So here’s your invitation to experiment with loud budgeting from a place of owning where you stand. It can serve as tool that isn’t about reinforcing your ability to afford something but focuses on not wanting or choosing to afford something, stating it isn’t a priority right now. It’s a new response to financial peer pressure, and I think financial therapists couldn’t be more excited for folks to try it out.

Handling the Hate Mail

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You’ve put yourself out there by creating something innovative, passionate, and new. You’ve shut down the naysayers to launch it and are hopeful of its success. It’s a part of you. It’s your baby. Then the hate mail comes in.

It could be a negative comment on your Youtube channel or on your latest blog post. Perhaps it’s a poor review of your book or a google review on your business page. Or maybe it’s a blunt and hostile email landing in your inbox. Wherever it lands, it stings. Like a slap to the face, you aren’t expecting it. It plants a seed of doubt in your mind, causing you to question what you’ve created—or worse—to question your own self-worth.

Unfortunately I speak from experience. As a serial entrepreneur, I know that the more things I put out into the world, the more it increases the risk of folks critiquing me as a person as well as the projects I launch. The first negative review hurts. The first hate mail that attacks one’s character hurts even more. So what can we do about it? How can we cope with the anonymous words that have been weaponized against us? How do we protect ourselves from the folks who want to criticize us from afar? After all, Brene Brown points out that they aren’t in the arena with us, so why do their voices sound so loud? I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I feel compelled to talk about this phenomenon of being cut down by folks cloaked in anonymity, knowing that other creatives and leaders who put themselves out there are experiencing the same thing.

How can we handle the hate mail?

Here are some things that might help:

 1)    Get Some Distance

As the virtual slap to the face hits, it can serve you to physically or emotionally move away from the negativity to get your bearings. Is it worth taking a walk? Distracting yourself with another task? Working off the emotional response with conscious movement? Stepping away from what you are doing to ground yourself?

2)    Seek Support

You don’t have to go through this experience alone. Who can you reach out to that understands what it’s like? Who can offer reassurance, compassion, and kind words in the face of unexpected ugliness? Who can speak to the quality or value of the thing(s) you’ve created? Who believes in your vision?

3)    Reignite Your Passion

The anonymous negativity can cast a shadow on all things that bring you joy if you let it. How can you revisit your vision and return to the passion of your project? Is it healing to talk about it with others who can appreciate your efforts? Can you share it with an audience who would be excited about it? Can you return to the experience of crafting your offering and what made you excited to launch it in the first place?

4)    Reject That Shit

No one wants to hold onto hate mail. What can you do to consciously reject it and send it on it’s way? Is it about cleansing yourself or your space of that negativity? Is it about deleting the email, reporting the post, or setting boundaries on reading comments? Can you visualize repelling the negativity it represents, sending it farther away from you?

5)    Find the Funny

Sometimes the critique isn’t even personal. Maybe they say your creation is boring or that no one cares. Of course the irony is that they read it or watched it or landed on your offering in some way themselves. So how can you find the funny in the painful experience? Is it reading it in a funny voice? Having a witty rebuttal like a celebrity reading hateful reviews on video? If you can’t find the funny in the criticism itself, can you engage in something lighthearted and funny to help you return to your emotional baseline?

6)    Set Social Media Boundaries

There’s a reason folks in the spotlight say they don’t read their reviews. It hurts. What boundaries can you have in place to limit your perusal of comments if it’s more hurtful than helpful?

There is a difference between constructive criticism and hate mail. I choose to believe it says more about them than it does about us. I know that personally, I need to develop a thicker skin against negative remarks in order to continue creating things that I enjoy. To keep the vision and goal of helping others at the forefront of my mind. To continue to operate within my values of integrity, growth, and leadership. Although I wouldn’t wish the experience of hate mail on anyone, I hope that these ideas can prepare you for if and when it happens in your experience as a creative entrepreneur.

The haters are going to hate. Keep going.

Vulnerability for the Wrong Reasons?

Vulnerability is powerful! Championed by heart-centered leaders like Brene Brown, Simon Sinek, and Michelle Obama, we’ve taken notice of how it can pave the way for authentic leadership and deeper connection. Vulnerability has its place in allowing people to feel seen. Learning to lean in to the discomfort to grow, It can serve as a catalyst for change. 

I myself have experienced the positive power of vulnerability as a leader. Yet what if there are times we embrace vulnerability for the wrong reasons? To manipulate others? Forced intimacy to get our needs met? Learned helplessness to be seen and cared for because we find we are unable to help ourselves? Showing up in the form of:

People Pleasing.

Co-dependency.

Manipulation.

It’s not uncommon to support vulnerability as a meaningful tool after trauma. For some, it starts with addressing the absence of vulnerability in a person wanting to feel strong, independent, and in control. For folks with mental health diagnoses of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) and Borderline Personality Disorder, vulnerability within relationships can feel even more complicated.  C-PTSD, for example, recognizes the impact of repeat relational trauma that challenges a person’s sense of safety and security. The unpredictable environment of not knowing if their needs will be met, when they will be met, or how often. Attachment trauma. Rupture with no repair. If vulnerability has the capability of bringing people closer together, can it manifest as a learned behavior with significant consequences? 

As a therapist, I find myself worried that vulnerability can be contrived in response to trauma, pressure, and pleasing of others. Concern that individuals who have had their boundaries violated will embrace vulnerability as a tool but not recognize the risks. What are the consequences of strategic vulnerability for agenda-driven reasons? Perhaps the person receiving the fabricated expression of vulnerability finds it draining or false. Individuals engaged in forced vulnerability to get their needs met may find themselves in burnout, resentment, or fatigue. By embracing inauthentic vulnerability, are we unknowingly elevating our risks of being physically or emotionally hurt again?

With these challenges in mind, I continue to engage clients in an energy wheel exercise in order to explore their relational boundary work each week. Presented as slices of pie, I ask them to map out their energy dedicated to various tasks each week, both personal and professional. Emphasizing relational energy, I encourage clients to remain curious by asking, “what’s my energy pie look like today?”

In the example above, the client indicates spending a lot of energy in Week 1 pleasing her father by spending time with him, meeting his needs, and putting out emotional fires. By actively practicing boundary work over the next several weeks, the client indicates a more balanced energy towards her primary goal of finding a job. By processing the shift in energy, the client recognizes an increase in self-confidence and improved well-being in not feeling as drained by the interactions with her father. This discovery not only reinforces her motivation to continue her important boundary work with family members, it also helps her explore her relationship with vulnerability.

As we can expect, boundaries and vulnerability go hand in hand. From a trauma lens, boundaries and vulnerability are equally challenged by the maladaptive coping skills we develop to survive a threatening experience. Therefore it is important to explore a client’s relationship with vulnerability, identifying how they feel about it, when they embrace it, and how it can serve as an opportunity to bring them closer to connection in healthy relationships while protecting them against unhealthy patterns.

To My Fellow Therapists, Let’s Slather on the Emotional Sunscreen

Spring has been in full swing even as we feel like we’ve taken a pause in this pandemic. Although we may be staying in place, the weather is moving and shifting towards summer. For many of us, weather and the ability to get outside have been vital components to staying sane these last few months. The pleasure of feeling the sun on our faces, the breeze in our hair, inhaling fresh air, and experiencing the sounds of nature can almost transport us into feelings of normalcy.

Normalcy. Normal. A new normal. A phrase that has appeared to help us better articulate how COVID-19 has impacted our way of living and the ripple effects on our habits, behaviors, and mental health. With spring comes new energy, growth, and restlessness. We’ve seen this in the desire for stay-at-home orders to be lifted, the desire to get outside and have social gatherings, and the desire to go back to seeing clients in person. But what about restlessness as a sign of mental health? There are plenty of articles reporting that a mental health crisis will follow as the result of COVID-19 and will be long lasting. Our mental health communities have been working several months straight to support individuals and families with the changes and stresses that have come in waves. As therapists, we’ve prepared for this to some degree, having built practices working with people experiencing anxiety, depression, and trauma. Yet being human ourselves, we are also holding anxiety and dread for what’s to come simultaneously with holding onto hope that it will get better.

Spring Challenges

You see, COVID-19 wasn’t the only challenge to hit us hard in March. Springtime is considered a challenge because it’s known as a time for increased mental health crises. Spring is a time when those who experience the lows of winter and clinical depression related to the darker months start to shift to having more energy. With more energy comes more risks. For individuals experiencing suicidal thoughts, do they now have the energy to make an attempt? For individuals diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, are they experiencing a burst of energy that puts them at greater risk due to increased manic behaviors? Imagine how these worries each spring can combine with the anticipated increase in hopelessness related to COVID-19. For people who have lost jobs, houses, businesses, and loved ones, hopelessness and grief weighs heavy as the weeks accumulate. In fact, as we enter into another month of the pandemic, we may all be grieving the loss of anticipated events or perceived normalcy that summer could bring. The hopes for a planned vacation, a summer break, a slowing of referrals to allow us to regroup. Like a clenched muscle, we feel we must hold on and don’t yet have permission to relax. There continues to be so much that remains unknown about the future months, adding to the rollercoaster of mood as we struggle with not knowing what to plan for or what to look forward to in the ever-shifting weeks to come.

Balance Over Burnout

There is some lightness to balance out the heavy. Mental health professionals are feeling the powerful beauty of connecting with clients on something they too are experiencing in real time. They are embracing raw emotions, vulnerability, and fear. They are expressing gratitude at being able to work via telehealth. They are standing in awe of their clients’ resiliency. 

Therapists are also feeling the burnout of working longer hours and struggling with work separation in working from home. We are human, we are helpers, and we are feeling called to assist others at the risk of caring for ourselves. In connecting with colleagues, it is not uncommon to hear that we feel obligated to help and to remain available. Maybe this would be doable if it was just our clients we were supporting, but for many of us, we are supporting the fear and anxiety of our loved ones, family, and friends as well. It’s a lot to hold, and more than two months in, it’s starting to wear us down.

Slather on the SunscreenWhat can we do to address the growing fatigue as first responders in this pandemic? It’s time to slather on the emotional sunscreen. Embrace this visual of shielding against negativity and practicing professional boundaries. Allow the application of sunscreen to be a gentle and important reminder to protect ourselves from the damage of poor boundaries at the risk of getting burned. Burned by the heavy. Burnt out by the demand. Burnt out by the constant holding of hope and compassion for others. Protecting our emotions. The fight against COVID-19 and its impact on mental health is not over and we are fighting to stay strong.

Reapply Every Two Hours 

So let’s take inspiration from BuzzFeed’s 10 Facts About Sunscreen Most People Don’t Know Due to Marketing Tricks. It is recommended we reapply sunscreen every two hours that we are in the sun. In this case, our metaphorical sun represents all the present stressors, glaringly bright and hard to ignore. They make us uncomfortable, irritable, and tired. So we must take precautions. How do we address the sleepiness and lethargy that too much sun brings? How do we step away, regroup, and restore our energy? How do we protect our empathetic skin from over-exposure to harmful elements that can hurt us, leaving us blistered, raw and achy? We must find a way to reapply our emotional sunscreen to fight off fatigue and feeling drained. Sunburn and burnout have discomfort in common.

More than ‘Make Do’

Discomfort is something we know well as therapists. We are masters at sitting in the discomfort of others to help them heal. We are skilled at compartmentalizing, successfully ignoring our own discomfort to help others. Recall the time you held your bladder so as not to interrupt a session? Or took a call after hours because you could? Or came to work with a head cold so as not to disrupt your client’s momentum? We make do in the face of discomfort, perhaps engaging in the bare minimum protective measures to keep it all moving along. Much like makeup with low SPF. It isn’t enough protection for longer exposure to the sun. Sure, it can serve for short spells or quick outings. But when it comes to sun (stress) exposure of the mental health crisis we are currently facing, minimal SPF isn’t going to cut it. We are in this for the long haul and we don’t want to get burned. We need more emotional sunscreen.

Check Your Expiration Date

More time. More stress. We need to check our own expiration dates when it comes to how much we can handle before we require a break. Last week and this week, I have seen an increase in therapists sharing how tired they are and expressing how they feel like they need a break. This is quickly followed by a disclosure that they cannot leave those they are trying to support during this pandemic out of obligation or guilt. I can relate to this thought process. I can relate to the obligation and responsibility we all feel. We’re helpers. However, I’m also going to champion that all of us take a much-needed break in the near future. Staggered it if need be and timing it to allow rest and restoration. It doesn’t have to be extravagant and it doesn’t have to be long. Sunscreen that has expired is no longer considered effective. If we push past our expiration date, we too are no longer effective. We must honor our own expiration dates and the physical and emotion signs of burnout. Notice the signs that we need to rest and restore in order to do right by ourselves and by our clients.

Maybe it’s a stretch to make a connection between sun, stressors, sunscreen, and burnout. Maybe it isn’t. There’s something reassuring about the idea of getting to a place where we can be mindful enough in our plans to remember to apply sunscreen. Can we apply the emotional sunscreen needed to help us engage in meaningful work without getting burned? Can we show up, remain authentic, and be healthy role models for our clients on taking breaks to avoid burnout? It may not be easy task, but it is doable with practice. They say it takes 30 days to make something a habit. Let’s slather on some emotional sunscreen by summer.

Check out Croswaite Counseling PLLC’s Balance Over Burnout, an online course that introduces 5 tools to prevent burnout for therapists and professional helpers.

Check out BuzzFeed’s full article on 10 Facts About Sunscreen Most People Don’t Know Due to Marketing Tricks here.

Atlas Complex: The Weight of the World

Have you ever felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders? Like you have to take on all the projects, help everyone around you, just to maintain a sense of order? By modern standards, this experience is identified and defined as the Atlas Complex, thus describing a need to take on all the responsibility and all the stress of the world as you navigate through it. Why would one experience the state of mind that they must take on the world? There are many reasons that encourage the behavior of being responsible for everything around us, including internal and external factors that drive us to action in search of relief.

Need to be Needed

One external motivation for taking on the world can be our relationships. For some, the avoidance of conflict by saying yes to others’ needs is enough of a reason to take on more than we can handle, and to make do for the sake of friendship, approval, or respect. Connecting and helping others isn’t all negative, however when our own needs are sacrificed for others with no opportunity for self-care, resentment, burnout, and poor mental health can follow. So how do you know if you are experiencing symptoms of the Atlas Complex in the scope of relationships and boundaries? Below are some questions you may ask yourself:

• Do you secretly resent the request to help but feel you can’t say no?

• Do you feel like you are the only one who can help, so you say yes?

• Do you feel like you have to say yes out of avoidance of conflict or judgement?

• Do you fear disappointing someone if you don’t take on their request?

• Do you need to be needed? Do you feel most worthwhile when helping others?

It isn’t uncommon to identify with one or more of the questions above when connecting with others. One way to check in with yourself around your boundaries is to explore how you are helping yourself in addition to others. Remember that you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first. Similar to the airline directives about oxygen masks, you must first put on your own oxygen mask before helping others, implying you are no good to them or yourself if you aren’t conscious from lack of oxygen in trying to address others’ needs before your own.

Escalating Anxiety

Having solid definition of your boundaries with others can be important in having quality relationships and can also improve expectations of what you are able and willing to do to help. You may feel anxious enforcing new boundaries when they weren’t present before, especially if loved ones’ question or push back against new boundaries out of confusion around the change. Change itself can also be a trigger for anxiety. The Atlas Complex can be present out of a desire to control something because you feel out of control in other areas. For example, if you feel like you can’t control the declining health of your parent, you may find yourself controlling your living environment, cleaning compulsively, and snapping at your partner when small messes are left in the kitchen. This increased irritability and urge to control several things at once manifests in response to internal anxiety that isn’t as easily controlled, making things more difficult in your relationships, work, and home life.

Awareness of your anxiety can be a first step in addressing it in healthy ways. By being aware, you can track patterns and make changes in your thoughts or behaviors, which can then have a positive effect on your emotions. Below are some ideas of what you might say or do to address the anxiety you feel:

• Change the scene. Try getting out or away from an area that aggravates anxiety to gain some relief or perspective on what’s happening in your life.

• Move your body. Movement can help reduce anxiety in the form of exercise. Take a walk to think things through, which helps anxiety by both serving as light exercise and as a processing tool, giving you time to explore what’s happening that stresses you out.

• Think happy thoughts. Studies show that how we interpret a challenge can impact our anxiety.  For example, if we think, “nothing will ever change,” our emotional reaction will feel heavier and more helpless than if we think “this is temporary, I can do this.”

• Try coping skills. Taking a drink of water, breathing, listening to music, or healthy distraction can help address the anxiety you feel to make it more manageable.

Managing the Atlas Complex and all it represents can have positive effects on your mood, relationships, and life. Check in with yourself frequently to determine the motivation behind urges to hold the world on your shoulders and you may just find that the world looks and feels lighter than it once did.

“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.” Mary Lou Retton

Setting Boundaries with Parents Who Have None

Working with children in a therapeutic setting can be very rewarding and can prevent further problems with mental health and behavioral issues down the road. Most therapists that choose to work with kids are comfortable sitting on the floor, engage easily with children and are comfortable setting boundaries around safety in the play therapy room. Engaging and setting boundaries with parents can be an entirely different ball game. And unfortunately, establishing a supportive and collaborative relationship where firm boundaries are set in place with the caregivers may be as important as your relationship with the child in order to facilitate positive change. If you are in a private practice setting, there is another layer of importance to engaging parents. Your income depends on you maintaining a caseload of happy parents, as well as children who are improving.

You and the child can do great work in the play therapy room, improving self-regulation, verbalization of feelings, and allowing for an unconditional, child-centered relationship to allow the child to process the most difficult situations and it can be completely unraveled once the child returns home for the week if they are not set up for success at home. Taking two steps forward and then one or two steps back each and every week can be disheartening for the child, caregivers and us as therapists. This is why it is paramount to engage your parents to be a helpful partner in this process. So what do you do if a caregiver to one of your kids is unwilling to make changes or is so stuck in their trauma or emotions regarding a divorce that they are not acting as your partner in the therapeutic process? What if all they are looking for is for you to provide testimony in family court that supports their beliefs about the family situation? How can we as therapists, advocates, and potentially the only objective person in the situation bring about positive change in the lives of these children?

Thorough Preparation is Key

In my twelve years of experience working with children and teens in a therapeutic setting, I have learned that the most important aspect of creating an appropriate and collaborative relationship with caregivers where boundaries are respected and maintained starts before your first interaction. It is important to have a clear understanding of your scope of practice, what you are or are not willing to provide for families, the laws around decision-making and custody in your state, the laws of age to consent to mental health services in your state, and the policies and procedures for your practice or the agency you work for before you call that parent back to set up an initial session. If you are not clear in your own mind of these things, you are more likely to set up a relationship where you have to back track or get stuck in a situation later on.  For example, if a parent calls to get their child in for counseling with you and you do not inquire if there are any issues with custody or if any other parent shares decision making responsibilities in that initial phone call, you do not know if you are able to see that child. You are putting yourself and credentials at risk by not asking the right questions during that initial phone call. If there is shared decision making responsibilities, then you can educate the parent about the laws of your state and request the appropriate court documents to show any current orders in place. Along with having clarification in your own mind about these issues, you also have to have them represented in your initial paperwork so that you have a way to discuss all of these issues with the caregiver. It is important to have fees, policies around communication, policies around providing court summaries or court testimony (including fees), and the rights of the child in your disclosure and consent. This way, the parent has the information upfront and has signed in agreement that this is in fact how you will be running the show. And then, it’s up to you to put it into practice.

Documentation

How do you engage parents and maintain this engagement even when they do not agree with you or have a specific agenda they expect from you? Even if you have started off the relationship with strong boundaries, many parents are still so stuck in their own stuff that they will test your boundaries. Working with these parents is frustrating to say the least.  You see the positive changes that the child is making in session and know that they could improve significantly more if the parent followed your recommendations or if they weren’t so focused on making the other parent look bad. Two things…continue making the recommendations that will benefit your kiddo, continue being their advocate, and document, document, document. Unfortunately in our very litigious culture, you will need to have good documentation of what was recommended and why, as well as if caregivers followed through with the recommendations. If you are ever grieved, you have everything you need documented to show appropriate care.  It can also be helpful for you to keep track of specific recommendations that were attempted, versus the ones that are not. This can inform the recommendations you make in the future.

Communication Strategies

Another area that I have consulted with many child therapists on is how to manage parents going through a conflictual divorce, specifically so that they are not being triangulated into the relationship and can continue to focus on the best interest of the child. Again, the importance of having the discussions around your policies is paramount. I typically have two separate intake sessions if I have the chance, so that I can go through the information thoroughly and so that there is not the perception that I have a better relationship with one parent or the other. I also recommend that most correspondence is done through email (if both parties agree to using email for therapeutic information after understanding the possible issues with confidentiality), and that all correspondence is sent to both parties. This way there is less possibility for he-said-she-said concerns about what your recommendations are. I stick to this policy unless there is a significant safety concern or if there is a no-contact or restraining order in place between parents. I ask that caregivers put the other parent on any emails sent directly to me, however this boundary is always broken. I have already let parents know that anything I send out will go to both parents, so if they need a reply, it will get sent to both parents. If it does not need a reply, I keep the emails as documentation, reply that it is important that all emails go to both parties unless there is a safety issue, and use it as data for my own conceptualization of the case.

There are many other logistical tips that could be provided to working with difficult parents. The tip that I have found the most helpful in maintaining positive relationships with parents that I have to continually challenge or set firmer boundaries is to remember that they are human beings with their own histories. I believe that most parents are doing the best they can with what they’ve got at the time. This may not be very good at all, but there are reasons for their behavior. Remembering this allows me to be personable with them even when extremely frustrated. And remembering that you may be the only safe person in your child’s world at this moment, provides enough incentive to do the hard work of managing their caregivers.

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Guest post written by Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS

Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS is the owner and clinical director of Arvada Therapy Solutions, PLLC. Sybil's specialties include working with children, teens and families dealing with family trauma including conflictual divorce, child abuse and neglect, sexual abuse, and domestic violence. As an Approved Clinical Supervisor, she also supervises Master's level interns and clinicians working towards licensure, as well as providing business consultation to therapists embarking on the world of private practice.

Strategies for Self-Care: Scheduling Intention

Self-care is a word we hear a lot in our industry, not just for clients but for professionals as well. How does one define self-care? Is it true that we need to implement self- care in order to prevent burnout? To better understand fatigue, burnout, and the concept of self-care, let’s take a closer look at each of these elements and how they contribute to wellness.

Symptoms requiring Self-Care

For many professionals, self-care becomes something to explore when functioning declines. Our clients come to us because their lives are being disrupted and self-care may be needed to recover balance. We are our own worst clients in the idea that we can talk about the importance of self-care to others, but don’t always put it into regular practice for ourselves.  The result of limited or absent self-care is burnout, and burnout can be long lasting or pervasive as it spreads beyond our careers into our personal lives and beyond. In order to explore the impact of burnout for ourselves and our clients, we may find the following list helpful (adapted from Vital Hearts).

• I don’t know how to relax.
• I feel irritable more than I’d like.
• I feel disconnected from my emotions.
• I’ve isolated from my family.
• Nothing makes me laugh anymore.
• I take comfort in sweets.
• I have no energy to listen to my family when I get home.
• I escape by sleeping more.
• I have no empathy at the end of my work day.
• I’m ignoring my relationships.
• I can’t seem to disconnect from work.
• I am experiencing more anxiety.
• I just want to get away sometimes.
• I’m angry at my clients for asking so much of me.
• I feel underappreciated.
• I can’t read or watch the news anymore.
• I don’t share my work with my friends, they just don’t get it.
• I don’t socialize with friends much anymore.
• I feel restless but don’t want to do anything.
• I have lost confidence in myself.
• I feel pessimistic as the result of my job.
• I feel sadness.
• I feel drained, I have no energy.
• I feel angry.
• My health has declined.
• I feel like nothing I do makes things better.
• I can’t concentrate.
• I cry much easier than I used to.
• My road rage has gotten worse.

For some, the list above starts the conversation about how much and to what degree life has been impacted by factors of our work as helping professionals.  Burnout untreated can lead to long lasting decline in quality of life and connection to others. Burnout can take away the passion of why you do this work. As we struggle to practice what we recommend to others, how do we change our patterns to support reduction of the negative impact of burnout? Below are some action steps.

Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP)

Several organizations in Colorado see the importance of self-care, including the Colorado Mental Wellness Network. Selected by the Colorado Mental Wellness Network and endorsed by SAMHSA, the Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) is being utilized with various populations to support health and well-being. Colorado Mental Wellness Network supports change through peer to peer connection and wellness education. Through these efforts, they continue to implement WRAP plans within various communities, including those experiencing homelessness and within Department of Human Services caseworkers. What they found was that empowering individuals to notice wellness as well as health decline could support putting self-care into action. Below is an example of a wellness plan that can be used for both professionals and clients to best support their process of identifying and implementing self-care.

Building in Boundaries

In addition to exploring and customizing self-care for meaningful change, boundaries may need to be re-evaluated to prevent burnout. For many helping professionals, long hours, after-hours texts, emails, or calls, client crisis, and urges to help, prevent successful disconnection from work. Technology makes it easy to check work emails 24 hours a day and calls may come in from various parties regarding client care. If there is flexibility to re-evaluate the schedule of work versus home life, it is encouraged. However, the schedule assigned may not be in your control. If this is the case, other means of implementing boundaries may be needed and can include the following:

• Put an out of office message on email and voicemail to notify others of when you will respond.
• Separate work and home phones to leave the work phone off during days off.
• Identify a crisis coverage person to give to clients during vacations or other scheduled absences.
• Schedule time off in your calendar(s) to support appropriate boundaries.
• Schedule windows of self-care, even if just for 20 minutes, during your work week.
• Be concrete with hours for yourself and your clients as to when and how they can reach you.
• Find self-care you can commit to and put it in the calendar monthly or weekly.

It is with hope that we can create momentum from the talk of self-care into action steps as we continue in our roles as helping professionals. Modeling self-care is both in the benefit of our clients and ourselves as we navigate the busy world of demands in hope of positive change. May we all begin to develop quality self-care in order to find wellness in the path of hard work!

Bolstering Boundaries: Exploring Needs in Community Practice

She calls at 10pm, he gives you a present, they ask for a hug, she asks for a ride.  How do we navigate the gray area that is clinical practice in community or home settings? Mental health professionals have found several benefits to working with clients in their homes or communities, including more consistent access to resources by meeting clients in alternate settings. Perhaps the client can’t get to an office due to transportation limitations or anxiety preventing them from feeling comfortable in your office? Could the family dynamic be better observed in the home to support current treatment goals?

Boundaries continue to be important in conveying professional roles and limitations to clients, including interaction with their therapist outside of scheduled sessions. Boundaries can look different to each individual, including being physical, such as proximity and touch, or emotional, such as how much we disclose about ourselves to clients in our effort to build rapport. Boundaries are necessary to prevent burnout, which can manifest as fatigue, avoidance, and increased irritability and concern of clients taking advantage of us when boundaries are inconsistent.

Self-Exploration

Can you ask yourself how you would respond to the following questions?

• Do you feel taken advantage of by those you care about?
• Do you tend to meet other’s needs before your own?
• Do you say yes to avoid a confrontation?
• Do you worry about the loss of a relationship if you say no?

If you answered yes to all of these questions, you may want to look further at your boundaries and their limits in supporting your well-being. Many mental health professionals are inspired to help and serve others, sometimes at the risk of our own health. It would benefit each of us to explore and strengthen our boundaries to allow the most supportive interaction between us as providers and the clients we serve.

Bolstering Boundaries

So how do we navigate implementing boundaries? Has your agency supported you in providing expectations of your role in writing to your client? Does your disclosure statement clearly identify your limits in communication outside of scheduled sessions? Can your voicemail redirect callers after hours to a crisis service? These are just a few examples of boundaries in the mental health workplace that can provide the consistency we are seeking in implementing healthy boundaries with our clients. Just as when we guide clients in developing boundaries of their own, new expectations take work to implement and remain consistent. Anticipate push-back from those who are used to old patterns, as they may struggle to accept the change. Remain firm with new boundaries to allow adjustment and acknowledge any anxiety or fear that can come with implementing new boundaries. Lastly, consider putting boundaries or expectations in writing to discuss with your client so that they may have a copy for future reference and can consider signing a copy for your records.

Support from Others

Implementing boundaries can be easier with the support of supervisors, consultants, and colleagues. Consider reaching out for support around implementing boundaries with a client, as many professionals have experienced similar concerns and have had to navigate the discomfort of boundary setting in their own work. Would they take the same steps you are considering when reinforcing boundaries? Can they support you when your feelings of guilt or anxiety attempt to derail the boundaries you’ve created? It can be helpful to share your boundary goals so others can support you and you can do the same for them.  

Burnout

Burnout can be the result of poor or unhealthy boundaries. Can you relate to any of the following symptoms of burnout?

• I don’t know how to relax.
• My road rage has gotten worse.
• I feel disconnected from my emotions.
• I escape into eating sweets.
• I’m ignoring my relationships.
• I can’t seem to disconnect from work.
• I’m self-critical.

These are just a few symptoms of burnout that other professionals have reported as signs of their fatigue and ongoing challenge in the workplace. Boundaries can help address burnout along with communication, exploring your values or what drives you, and creating a wellness plan. The Professional Helper Healing Training: Supporting Boundaries to Prevent Burnout is one training in Denver, CO that supports professionals in these tasks and there are others! For more information, visit us at catalystcounselingpllc.com and search professional workshops.